TOPIC: Runewild

Session Three

Tink and Alistair travel the Path of Petals to rejoin their companions. The Runewardens retreat to the Ruasidhe camp and interrogate their goblin prisoner. The goblin's name is Butte Nugget, and he drops the following points of exposition;

• The Broken King is allied to a powerful fey sorceress called Medusa.
• Captain Olvane's assault on Broken Keep was a disaster, Medusa turned his entire army to stone.
• The Broken King is preparing a counter-attack on the dwarven settlement of Burly Point.

The Runewardens learn any goblin can open a gate to the Goblin Market. The party cannibalize their carriage for wood to build a crude but functional doorframe, then force Butte to open the way. The Goblin Market is a maze of brightly coloured stalls filling a clearing deep in the Runewild. Myriad vendors flog their esoteric wares. The Runewardens locate the shop of Scrote Gargle, fairy trafficker. The cruel merchant has the captive sprites crammed into cages barely big enough to flutter their wings. Apogee accuses Scrote of illegally obtaining his stock, and threatens to report him to the RSPCF (Runewild Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Fairies). The party intimidate the slaver into releasing the captive sprites, or face a hefty fine. This action antagonizes the hag Nanny Spitroast, who had already paid a deposit on those fairies to use as fillings in her unsavoury pies. The manic sprites cause havoc as they zip around the market, before making good their escape. The Runewardens leave through the portal back to the Ruasidhe camp. They decide to keep Butte Nugget around, just in case they need to revisit the Market.

The Ruasidhe scouts are hunting a lindwurm after it attacked one of their outposts. They tracked it to the banks of a frozen lake. The Runewardens agree to help bring down the monster. A snowstorm rolls in, reducing visibility. Apogee pulls a hyena from her Bag of Tricks and ushers it out onto the ice. The lindwurm's long, serpentine body erupts from beneath the ice and snaps the hyena up in its powerful, crocodilian jaws. The Runewardens attack, slip-sliding across the surface of the frozen lake. Alistair casts Toll the Dead, but is drowned out by the howling wind. Apogee alights on the monster's snout and plucks out one of its eyes with her bare hands. METAL.



The half-blinded lindwurm dives beneath the icy water, taking Apogee with it. Ghoralt jumps in after her, but his heavy armour drags him down to the bottom of the lake. He spots a waterlogged corpse clutching a Frostrune Greataxe (effectively the Leviathon Axe from God of War 2018) and grabs the weapon. Resisting the bone-chattering cold, Apogee digs into the optical jelly of the lindworm's other eye and straight up enucleates that scaly mofo. SICK. She rips out a few fangs for good measure, which she can now dual-wield as a pair of masterwork daggers. Tink drops a weighted rope into the water to rescue Ghoralt from the depths.

The Runewardens are celebrated as Heroes of the Ruasidhe, and granted safe passage through their territory (no random encounters, woo). They are also permitted to take long rests in the elves' treetop communes. The party purchase new mounts, majestic battle stags to carry them swiftly through the Runewild. Tink returns Virdan's ashes to the elves, who perform a song of mourning as they spread his remains among the roots of the great Ancestor Tree. The Ruasidhe reward Tink with Bracers of Archery and a few jars of goodberry jam.

The Runewardens part ways with the Ruasidhe, and ride for Kidwelly. They return Hort Thistlewhip to his parents, but learn the other six Thistlewhip children are still AWOL, after getting roped into a quest to find the Golden Bodach. The party vaguely recall seeing a halfling boy for sale at the Goblin Market, and make a mental note to head back there ASATCBB (as soon as they can be bothered).

The Runewardens finally reach the cottage of the Whitebone Sisters. Agressive, black, racially-stereotyped chickens wander the yard, penned in by a fence crafted from human bones. Sir Bruno knocks on the front door. Hoorah the Bunny-Girl answers, in rude health and good cheer. She confirms that yes, she is being held prisoner, but the Whitebone Sisters aren't all that bad, as hags go. Plus, her new friends have been keeping her company. By "new friends" she means skeletons of the dead children stolen from the Widderspire cemetery and reanimated by foul hag magic.



The sisters Clavia and Sterna are baking bonebread in the kitchen. Sir Bruno partakes. Mmmm, chalky! They explain their plan to trade Hoorah to the Hag Queen in exchange for a real child to raise as their own. The Runewardens find this arrangement morally ambiguous and ask if there is anything else the sisters want. As it turns out, they will also accept the skull of hag. As Moira and her birds are still shadowing the party, the Runewardens decide to lay a trap for the last surviving Daughter of the Chimera.

TBC

XP Calculator
Finding the way into the Goblin Market - 100xp
Rescuing the Fairies - 500xp
Defeating the Lindwurm - 1800xp
Befriending the Ruasidhe - 100xp
Honouring Virdan's memory - 100xp
Returning Hort Thistlewhip to Kidwelly - 100xp
Meeting the Whitebone Sisters - 100xp
= 2800 / 5 = 560
+ 4642 = 5202
next level up (5) at 6500

Session Four

The Runewardens try luring Moira down to fight them on the ground, but she is having none of that and ignores their gentle mockery. It doesn't help that the players of Sir Bruno and Apogee are both absent this week, as it is for those two characters that the Crow Hag holds a particular animosity.

Instead, the reduced party return to the Goblin Market to rescue Ansol Thistlewhip. Unfortunately, the halfling lad has already been sold to Nanny Spitroast, who is definitely going to put him in a pie. The Runewardens head to Nanny Spitroast's Meat Wagon. It is much bigger on the inside.



The party interrupt four half-ogre butchers frantically beating their meat. A track running along the ceiling carries flayed carcasses deeper into the facility. The butchers hurl entangling strings of animate sausages at the heroes. Gale eviscerates a half-ogre and tosses a handful of entrails into the meat grinding apparatus, dragging the screaming butcher to his gory demise. Ghoralt is suspended from a meathook and carried along the track.

Ghoralt is carried into a room filled with huge vats of bubbling sludge, where bones and meat byproducts are boiled down to gelatin. The overpowering stench of vinegar makes his eyes water. A large gelatin ooze slurps out of a vat to attack the party. Gale attacks with his sword, slashing the ooze in half. The two oozes gang up on Gale, take him out and grotesquely absorb his body into their amorphous mass. RIP GALE. Ghoralt manages to free himself and inflicts more slashing damage, splitting the ooze again. By keeping their distance - and not doing any more slashing damage(!) - the Runewardens defeat the oozes.



The final room of the meat dungeon is swelteringly hot thanks to two large ovens. A conveyor belt deposits unbaked pastries into the flames. Ansol Thistlewhip has been stuffed into a flaky pie crust and is already well on his way to a fiery end. Nanny Spitroast oversees her operation from a catwalk on the far side of the room. Scrote Gargle - goblin entrepreneur, forced to work for the hag after the Runewardens ruined his fairy trafficking hustle - is stationed near the conveyor belt. Butte Nugget joins the fray for Team Runewardens, so Adam has something to do other than mourn another dead character.

Ghoralt pushes Ansol off the conveyor belt. The oven animates and belches fire. Ghoralt resists being balefully polymorphed into a pig. Butte Nugget does not resist Ray of Sickness and pukes his measly 7HP up all over the floor. RIP BUTTE NUGGET. Ghoralt charges the hag, then a stray arrow hits him in the head (Ted rolling a natural 1 whilst shooting into melee), killing him outright. RIP GHORALT IRONBANE. Nanny Spitroast gives Tink a thumbs up for the kill-assist. Tink's next shot strikes true and the Pie Hag expires. Seeing his employer go down, Scrote Gargle surrenders. The two surviving Runewardens rescue Ansol and chop off Nanny Spitroast's head. They loot the magic items from their fallen comrades, but leave the bodies where they fell. Scrote Gargle takes over the Meat Wagon and chucks their corpses into the pie-making machine. Waste not, want not.

The party leave the Goblin Market. Rather than return Ansol to his parents, they tell the boy his entire extended family is dead and he lives with the Whitebone Sisters now. The bone hags exchange Hoorah for the "orphan". The Runewardens also trade Nanny Spitroast's skull for three Superior Healing Potions. Hoorah thanks the party for rescuing her, and promises to put in a good word with the Pookah King. She also passes on her pookah gift to Sir Bruno, who can now cast Speak with Dead.

The Runewardens return to Kidwelly for a long rest. Large black birds circle the town for the duration of their stay, perturbing the superstitious halflings. Ma & Pa Thistlewhip enquire after their missing children. Tink expertly deflects the question and definitely does not admit to fostering Ansol with the Whitebone Sisters. Halfling bard Dread Zeppelin (Drezepp for short, played by Rich) and his warforged bodyguard ID4 (played by Adam) express their interest in joining the Runewardens. Considering the high rate of player attrition, they are both hired on the spot.

What to do next? The party are at a loose end while they wait for a summons from Seventails. Their supply of healing potions took a hit in the meat dungeon, so they decide to visit the magic honey tree. ID4 recommends traversing the Deepdoom, a labyrinthine maze of tunnels beneath the Runewild, occupied by two clans of warring deep gnomes, and other subterranean horrors. No thanks ID4, we'll just follow the road.



The magic honey tree is an ancient and formiddable oak. An enormous beehive clings to the trunk some 20ft above the ground, surrounded by hundreds of oversized bees. Drezepp casts a spell that causes flowers to sprout nearby, distracting the swarm. Then the flowers start squirting water everywhere, which fucks the bees right off. The party are swarmed by stinging insects. Tink & Alistair get stung, like, a lot. ID4 is made of metal (with a ridiculous base AC of 25), so he's pretty much immune to their attacks. Drezepp turns invisible and climbs the tree, leaving the others to deal with the bees.

Suddenly, a naked dwarf bursts out of the bushes! He hollers at the party to get away from the hive. Who is this strange guardian of the magic honey tree, and why has he got his knob out? Find out - next week!

TBC

XP Calculator
4x Half-Ogre Butchers + animate sausages - 1200xp
1x Gelatin Ooze - 1200xp
Defeated Nanny Spitroast - 2000xp
Rescue Ansol Thistlewhip - 100xp
Gave Ansol Thistlewhip to the Whitebone Sisters - minus 100xp
Rescued Hoorah the Bunny-Girl - 500xp
Recruited Drezepp & ID4 to the Runewardens - 200xp
5100 / 4 = 1275 + 5202 = 6477 (which I will round up to 6500)

Everyone advances to lvl 5!!!!!

Session Five

For reasons, Drezepp changes his stage name to Claus Wunderstrapp.

The nude dwarf is Rufus Ambercomb, druidic guardian of the magic honey tree. The Runewards negotiate for access to the hive by describing how they cleared the goblins from Flyspeck Hill waaaay back at the beginning of the campaign.

The Runewardens return to their lodge in Widderspire Village. It has been weeks since they left, and no-one can recall if they left any bandits tied up in the cellar. They decide not to check; they are Schrödinger's bandits now.



Knocking at the door; a caller at this hour?! A kindly old man stands at the threshold, leaning on a gnarled staff. Claus notices several bushy fox tails poking out from under the stranger's robe. It is - of course - Seventails, the Pookah King! He thanks the heroes for rescuing Hoorah, and asks how he can repay them. The Runewardens want Korthsuva, the Hag of Hours. Seventails sighs, his decision to imprison the witch weighs heavily on him, and he wonders if he did the right thing. He reveals the location of her prison, and leaves the decision of whether or not to release the clockbound hag in Runewarden's hands. He asks only that the heroes watch over the Pookah, should anything happen to him.

ID4 spots a large black crow peering in through a window. The eavesdropping avian flies away before he can catch it. If Moira overheard Seventails' infodump, she will undoubtedly infom Griselda. The race is on to free Korthsuva, before agents of the Grand Coven are sent to stop them.

The Runewardens traverse the Path of Petals to shorten their journey and throw off any pursuit. As they climb into the foothills of the Ironwall Peaks, they see the vastness of the Runewild spread out below them. They also see an army of goblinoids marching along the road to Burly Point. It appears the Broken King's counter-attack has begun, just as Butte Nugget warned them two weeks ago (god rest his soul).

The Runewardens reach Korthsuva's prison late afternoon. A five-headed ogre (four of which are braying, mad-eyed stag heads) is hacking at a 30ft tall hedge with a glaive. The thorny brambles grow back as quickly as he cuts them away. This is Iodun, oldest (and most cunning) son of the Hag Queen, accompanied by a pack of vicious dire wolves. One of the wolves is hopelessly tangled in the hedge, whining pitifully as the thorny vines constrict its body. Claus suggests that the ogre call off his hounds and leave. Ioden fails his Wisdom save and does just that, meandering off with the wolf pack at his heels.

ID4 burns a hole in the hedge and the Runewardens hop through. Beyond lies a small, sunny clearing untouched by Winter. A simple cottage squats beside a flourishing apple tree, branches laden with fruit. A comely woman with dark hair and sparkling green eyes opens the cottage door and invites the heroes inside. This is Korthsuva, the First Hag of the Runewild, although she seems pleasant enough. The Runewardens ask for her help breaking the great hex on Caerfell. Korthsuva agrees, but first they must release her from the clock to which Seventails bound her magic. All they have to do is turn the hours hand forward to midnight.

ID4 starts messing with the time. The sky outside darkens as the sun descends toward the horizon at an accelerated pace. ID4's metal body begins to pit and corrode, as though undergoing decades of degradation in mere moments. Tink tries to pull the warforged away from the clock, but ID4 knocks him back. Korthsuva's motherly facade changes to that of a wicked old crone, cackling with glee at her imminent release. Brother Alistair casts Sacred Flame on the clock, damaging it. Korthsuva shrieks in rage and banishes the cleric to an extradimensional maze. Sir Bruno is outside, picking apples off the tree whilst all this is going down.



The clock strikes midnight and ID4 collapses into a pile of rusty scrap. RIP ID4. After thousands of years, Korthsuva is free. She is pact-bound to uphold her end of the bargain, and agrees to meet the Runewardens in Caerfell Keep to break Griselda's curse. Claus casts Mending on the broken Warforged and repairs ID4's head and conciousness. Tink pops the robot's head in his bag, hoping they can attach it to a new robot body.

The Runewardens make haste for Caerfell, cutting through the forest to make better time. They have not rested for several nights now, and are starting to feel a bit rough. They pass a ruined tower perched on the bank of a moonlit lake. The Runewardens have the creeping sensation of being watched. Sir Bruno spots a half-dozen dusky elves shadowing the party. Tink is alarmed; the Droasidhe (or Dark Elves) were banished from the Runewild long ago, and their ill-favored ilk have no business in the forest. Tink confronts the Droasidhe patrol. Claus casts Friends before things turn nasty. The drow seek the Highvale Blades, seven magical longswords forged by the Aosidhe during the Witch Wars. They are operating out of Greyspire; the ruined tower beside the lake. The Runewardens take their leave before Claus loses concentration on his spell.



The party reach a crossroads, both literal and figurative. Do they continue toward Caerfell and their rendezvous with Korthsuva, or rush to the defence of Burly Point? A goliath barbarian stands at the junction, surrounded by the dismembered chunks of a dozen slain goblins. This is Hamar (played by Adam), a simple-minded brute whose only wish is to murder more goblinoids.

To Hamar's disappointment, the Runewardens head for Caerfell. The Broken King can wait. Korthsuva (now wearing the guise of a sultry, raven-haired maiden) is waiting for them outside the keep. She sets to sundering Griselda's curse. The heroes hear a sibilant hissing as the sands of time catch up with those affected by the great hex. Lord Caerfell ages fifty years in a matter of minutes, from a fresh-faced adolescent to a doddering old man. His younger sister Rosalind is now a grey-haired old spinster.

Tink tries recruiting Korthsuva to fight the Broken King, but she has a score to settle with Seventails and leaves. Lord Caerfell is a shell of his former self; infirm and unsure, the brashness of youth fallen away like leaves from a dying tree. Rosalind accompanies the heroes to the battlements, from where they can observe the goblin army laying siege to Burly Point. Caerfell cannot allow their dwarven neighbours to be conquered! The Runewardens rest for one night, and prepare for the Battle of Burly Point come the dawn.

TBC

XP Calculator
Negotiate access to the magic honey tree - 400xp
Meeting the Pookah King - 500xp
Avoiding combat with Ioden - 500xp
Releasing Korthsuva - 1000xp
Discovering Droasidhe faction at Greyspire - 100xp
Recruiting Hamar to the Runewardens - 100xp
Breaking the great hex on Caerfell - 1000xp
4600/5 = 920
+ 6500 = 7420
Next level up (6) at 14000

Session 6

With war on the horizon and their leaders indisposed, the citizens of Caerfell look to the Runewardens for hope. Tink gives a rousing speech to inspire the common folk. He breaks 20+ on his Persuasion roll and Rosalind gives him a Ring of Unimpeachable Courage (immune to Frightened condition, can remove the condition from allies within 10ft as bonus action, thanks Book of Wondrous Magic).

Lucinda Travers and Colton Frey approach the party. The Runewardens clearly have no idea who they are. Nevermind! They are now engaged and expecting their first child, and are looking for honest work and a place to start their family. The Runewardens hire them both as live-in caretakers of the Widderspire Lodge.

Rosalind suggests the party find a guide to traverse Redcap Pass, and evade the Broken King's patrols. Ianto the Red and his not-so-merry men still languish in the dungeon, after Sir Bruno convinced Lord Caerfell to spare their lives, and not all of them are hardened criminals. The Runewardens speak with thug captain Harden (whom they previously subjected to psychological torture). He doesn't hold a grudge and genuinely regrets his actions. Harden agrees to help the Runewardens in the hope of redeeming himself.

Malicraft appears to Apogee with a hag's bargain. In exchange for the promise that the Runewardens undertake a job for her in the future (no questions asked!), she offers to create a Soul Jar that will trap the soul of a recently deceased individual and allow them to be resurrected. Apogee takes the deal and binds herself to the witch's terms. The party also buy a few potions from the capitalist hag, including a Potion of Diminution.

The Runewardens leave Caerfell, crossing Redcap Pass to reach Burly Point unseen. Harden proves a savvy guide and there are no random encounters along the way.



The dwarven settlement is besieged! A sea of goblins ebbs and flows like some apocalyptic tide. Armoured ogres haul ramshackle siege towers toward the walls. A muscular hill giant hurls boulders at the defenders along the battlement. Above it all, the Broken King surveys the battlefield from the back of a wyvern. A unit of worg cavalry spots the party and moves to intercept. Fearing the Runewardens are about to initiate a suicidal head-on assault aginst the entire goblin army, the dwarven defenders lower a rope ladder, and urge the heroes to climb!

"This ladder looks a lot like a railroad." Claus quips, earning a Hero Point for funny.

Keeper Coppertank is relieved to see the Runewardens, but wishes Caerfell had sent more men. A horn blares from the battlements; the goblins are making another push! Greenskinned invaders swarm up ladders in overwhelming numbers! Arrows fall amidst the defenders like deadly rain! A siege tower creeps ever closer to the walls, ready to disgorge more enemies unless the heroes do something about it!

The Runewardens wade into the fray! The sheer quantity of goblins makes movement uncertain. Every round, the goblin swarm regains 1d4 HP for each ladder still in use, so the heroes prioritise destroying those ladders. Tink directs a dwarven cannon crew to fire on the siege tower. Apogee hovers over the battlefield and upends her Bag of Tricks onto the horde; a black bear falls out and mauls a dozen goblins before succumbing to their spears. Tink fires again, not realising Apogee is in the cannon's trajectory. Apogee activates monk bullshit to catch the cannonball mid-air(!), but is still blasted backwards through several ranks of hobgoblin archers. The siege tower stalls and Claus sets it ablaze, barbecuing the goblins trapped inside.



A horn sounds, calling reinforcements to the main gate. The Runewardens arrive just as a hill giant (and another goblin swarm) break through. Apogee goes full Ant Man and flies up the giant's snozz, then goes to town on its brain stem with dual daggers. The giant tries to snort her out, but she is wedged up in there real good. Brother Alistair casts Toll the Dead, ringing the giant's skull like a church bell; even Apogee takes damage. Hamar charges and beheads the distressed brute. The head rolls away, and a gore-covered fairy crawls out. The remaining goblins flee!

Suddenly, the wyvern swoops out of the sky and rakes Tink with sharpened claws! Tink readies his bow to return fire, but the bowstring snaps (two consecutive 1's rolled to attack)! Claus casts Fly on himself and magically compels the wyvern to do a barrel roll, trying to dislodge its rider. The Broken King manages to stay on. Apogee tries to grapple the wyvern mid-air, but it swerves to avoid the blood-soaked murder sprite.

The wyvern alights on the roof of a tower. Hamar hurls a javelin, tearing through the leathery membrane of its wing. Sir Bruno uses the dead giant's gas-bloated corpse as a trampoline to bounce into melee. He crosses steel with the Broken King, a fragmented statue of a regal figure held together by wisps of ghostly energy. Sir Bruno notices his opponent wields Truth Teller - one of the seven Highvale Blades! Taking advantage of Sir Bruno's preoccupation with his fancy sword, the Broken King lands a life-draining touch attack that incapacitates the brave knight! Apogee pours a health potion down Sir Bruno's throat, whilst Hamar fights the Broken King. A flurry of reckless attacks reduces the Broken King to rubble. The wyvern tries to flee, but - still raging(!) - Hamar mounts the escaping monster and beheads it mid-air, sending them both plummeting to the ground.



The shattered pieces of the Broken King reform into the likeness of an anguished human male. This is Galthyr Lionfell, last Lord of Lionfell Keep. He thanks the Runewardens for releasing him from the terrible pact he made with Medusa, which bound his tortured soul to his petrified body. Lord Lionfell offers the hilt of Truth Teller to Sir Bruno, and asks that the Runewardens vow to slay Medusa for the great evil she has wrought. Sir Bruno swears upon the ancient blade to end the sorceress, and the troubled spectre of Lord Lionfell is finally laid to rest.

Hamar butchers the wyvern, and gives Tink the monster's heartstring to repair his bow, transforming the weapon into a +1 Bow of the Wyvern (4 charges, expend 1 charge to add poison to next attack, target rolls Con 15 or +1d10 poison damage, and Poisoned condition for one minute). Keeper Coppertank thanks the Runewardens for their aid, and comissions a statue to celebrate their victory. Magic items are dolled out like confetti; a bandolier of dwarven grenades (reskinned Necklace of Fireballs), Gauntlets of Dwarven Might (... Ogre Power), a Giantslayer's Hammer and blackpowder musket.

Though the Broken King is no more, and his army has dispersed - the fey sorceress Medusa yet plots in the dungeons below the Broken Keep, a poisonous cyst the heroes must cut out before the Runewild can heal from the effects of her warmongering.

TBC

XP Calculator
Ted's inspirational speech - 100xp
Hiring Lucinda & Colt - 100xp
Not remembering who they were - minus 100xp
Redeeming Harden - 100xp
Making hag's bargain with Malicraft - 100xp
Avoiding patrols in Redcap Pass - 250xp
2x Goblin Swarms - 3600xp
3x Ogres - 1350xp
Destroying the siege tower - 500xp
1x Hill Giant - 1800xp
Defeating the Broken King + Wyvern - 4000xp
Recovering 1 of 7 Highvale Blades - 500xp
Making vow to slay Medusa - 100xp
= 12,400 / 6 = 2,066
+ 7420 = 9486
next level up (6) at 14,000

Session 7

The Battle for Burly Point is over, and the Broken King's army has been defeated. The dwarves clear the field of goblin corpses and the wreckage of abandoned siege engines. The damage to the town is significant, but Clan Coppertank vow to rebuild bigger and stronger than ever. Leaving them to it, the Runewardens return to Caerfell to recuperate. Rosalind brings Sir Bruno a book detailing the tragic end of House Lionfell.

Lord Galthyr Lionfell fought in the Witch Wars and slew so many agents of the Grand Coven that Griselda herself cursed him to never sire a son who could continue his line. Lord Lionfell became despondent as he spent years fruitlessly seeking a way to break the curse. While Galthyr was absent, a hooded stranger visited his keep and promised Lady Lionfell she would become pregnant if she swallowed a magic pebble. Desperate to appease her increasingly unstable husband, she agreed - and soon her belly began to swell. Rather than joy, Lady Lionfell felt only guilt regarding the source of her strange pregnancy, and confessed to her husband the origin of the babe. Lion Lionfell flew into a rage, killing his wife and cutting the unborn child from her womb. The fate of Lord Lionfell following these events is unclear, the author speculates he could not live with his actions and hurled himself from the battlements of his keep - a theory now disproven by his reappearance as the Broken King.

The Runewardens don't know how Medusa is tangled up in this tale of woe, but have sworn to deal with the sorceress nevertheless. Hamar purchases a hand mirror because metagaming, whilst Tink compulsively polishes his shield for completely unrelated reasons. Riiiight.

The road to the Broken Keep crosses Wersig's Bridge, a monument to the durability of dwarven architecture. The River Wendarin rushes by some hundred feet below. Two trolls; Hoofrot and Flintfang guard the span. Sir Bruno declares the Broken King defeated, and Brother Alistair brandishes Truth Teller to reinforce this point. The trolls rejoice! They are no longer bound by the Broken King's orders NOT to kill and eat travellers crossing the bridge!! Oh happy, happy day!!!



Damn, wrong trolls!

The party defeat the trolls, but without landing any fire damage they just keep getting back up - even after being subjected to decapitation and cardiectomy. Sir Bruno boots Flintfang's head off the side of the bridge, and the body blindly follows it into the river. Brother Alistair tries to roll Hoofrot off the other side, but the troll regenerates and grabs the priest just as he goes over the edge! Hamar dives after them, breaking the grapple and activating his Ring of Feather Fall. Hoofrot hits the water and is dragged beneath the foaming rapids. Hamar and Brother Alistair are still falling, just r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w-l-y. Apogee flits down and pushes them toward the wall of the ravine, from where they can climb back up to the bridge.

The Runewardens find a load of gold in the troll's lair, and take a Short Rest before resuming their journey. Silent, watchful figures appear among the trees, surrounding the party. The Runewardens soon realise they have wandered into a field of statues, all of them depicting human knights frozen in various poses of surprise and alarm. With a heavy heart, Sir Bruno examines the statues and finds the petrified remains of Captain Olvane One Eye mounted upon his stone warhorse. This macabre garden of sculptures is all that remains of the 100 knights who marched from Caerfell at the start of the season. Sir Bruno and Brother Alistair pause to pray, although nothing short of Greater Restoration will fix this mess.



Three basilisks are attracted by the impromptu sermon, converging on the party from amongst the statues. Sir Bruno meets their gaze and is frozen to the spot, limbs leaden as they begin to petrify. Brother Alistair continues to pray, eyes cleched shut as the battle rages around him. The Runewardens defeat the basilisks and Sir Bruno shakes off the effect of their gaze, although it is some time before he regains full control of his extremities.

The party reach the Broken Keep. Goblin scavengers ransack the abandoned war camp, scattering when they spot the Runewardens approaching. An unmanned gatehouse leads to a stone bridge spanning a waterfall, beyond which lies the keep. Six totally inanimate gargoyles perch along the parapets. Psyche! Turns out they are animate after all, and they're getting a surprise round.

Stone claws rake Brother Alistair's face - that's gonna' leave a nasty scar. Two gargoyles pick up Tink between them and drop him off the side of the bridge. Apogee grabs the wood elf fighter as he falls. Puffing with exertion, she hauls him back up to the bridge. Hamar swings the enormous maul he took off Flintfang, misses his target and hits the bridge. A crack appears in the stone, quickly widening to a 10ft crevasse. As the bridge shudders underfoot, the Runewardens abandon the fight and race for the keep. The gargoyles are hot on their heels, clawing at their backs. Sir Bruno heroically turns to fight, waving everyone else on as he covers their retreat - even as the bridge crumbles away to ruin (Tom later confessed he had forgotten the bridge was collapsing when he chose to make his stand)! The rest of the party must choose between barring the door to the keep - leaving Sir Bruno alone on the other side, surrounded by enemies, or hold the portal until he can join them - and risk being overwhelmed in the interim! As the stone beneath his feet falls away, Sir Bruno casts Misty Step to teleport to safety, and the rest of the party slam the door closed! *

* this scene felt so epic/dramatic at the table that I awarded everyone a Hero Point to cash in next week.

The Runewardens find themselves in the throne room of what was once Lionfell Keep. They see an empty thone, a stone sarcophagus and four mirrors framed in gold. Hamar defiles the sarcophagus and finds the skeletal remains of a long-dead woman wearing a silver diadem, and a vial of clear liquid on a chain around her neck. Without missing a beat, Hamar chugs the unknown fluid and immediately disappears! Having necked a concentrated potion of major invisibility, Hamar is now invisible for the next 500 years (or maybe just 50 years, if we account for his hardy Goliath constitution).



One of the four mirrors begins to glow, becoming a portal that only Hamar can cross. The mirror-door leads to Medusa's grotto beneath the keep. Hamar explores and finds a second entrance behind the waterfall. The Runewardens roll their eyes and prepare to head back outside to deal with the remaining gargoyles.

TBC

XP Calculator
Discovering the sad story of Lord Lionfell - 100xp
Metagaming - minus 100xp
2x Bridge Trolls - 3600xp
Heroic use of the Feather Fall spell - 100xp
Discovering the fate of Captain Olvane - 100xp
3x Basilisks - 2100xp
The one Gargoyle you actually killed - 450xp
Sir Bruno's last stand - 100xp
Surviving the collapsing bridge - 500xp
Discovering (multiple) entrances to Medusa's grotto - 100xp
= 7050 / 5 = 1410
+ 9486 = 10,896
Next level up (6) at 14,000

Session 8

While the rest of the party debate how to bypass the remaining gargoyles, Hamar invisibly slips through the mirror door to Medusa's lair. He follows the stream to a cavernous grotto beneath the keep, where a beautiful woman bathes naked in the crystal clear water. Her long hair writhes unsettlingly, but Hamar is too busy staring at her tits to notice. Unable to master his raging Goliath libido, Hamar joins the sorceress in the water. Medusa is not charmed by the invisible pervert act and calls on her monstrous offspring Gorgon to attack the trespasser.



An armoured bull monster charges out of the shadows to brutally gore the horny barbarian! Hamar exits the pool, and Gorgon loses track of him amidst the dripping stalagmites. Hamar restrains Medusa in a powerful bear hug, believing her to be helpless against his might. Strands of her serpntine hair lash out, sinking their venemous fangs into the goliath's flesh over and over. Hamar succumbs to poison damage and is incapacitated. Gorgon lumbers over and tramples his twitching body under hoof. RIP HAMAR.



Meanwhile, back in the throne room! Gargoyles smash through the windows and attack the Runewardens. The heroes defeat them easily and climb down to the cave entrance hidden behind the waterfall. They arrive in Medusa's gotto just in time to witness Hamar's inglorious end. Gorgon exhales a cloud of green smog over the new arrivals; Apogee drops to the ground as her wings turn to stone. Tink lobs a dwarven grenade at the bull monster, exploding Gorgon into brisket. Medusa curses the Runewardens for slaying her children; they are no better than Galthyr Lionfell and deserve to be driven out of the Runewild for good! Sir Bruno meets her hateful gaze and is restrained. Apogee averts her eyes, pulls the pin on a grenade and rolls it along the cave floor to stop at Medusa's feet.



Medusa is no more. Tink finds Gorgon's nose-ring (Ring of the Ram), and lots of gold pilfered from the keep. The Runewardens now have over 45,000 in loose change(!).

The heroes return to Caerfell to report their success. Lord Fairwind signs over ownership of Broken Keep to the Runewardens to establish a bastion in the Runewild. The dwarves of Burly Point can restore the ruin to a habitable condition for 20,000gp. The party scoff at that paltry sum and hand over the cash. Rennovations will begin immediately. The Runewardens begin advertising for new recruits to join the burgeoning organisation. They hire Dante, an Aasimar bounty hunter (Adam's new character, ported straight from Capcom's Devil May Cry). Dante doesn't have a backstory, as no-one expects him to live long enough for one to matter.



Before the Runewardens can plan their next action, they are visited by Hoorah the Bunny-Girl. She is frantic with worry; Korthsuva has Seventails cornered and is going to kill him! The heroes are transported to the Pookah King's demi-plane to stop the Hag of Hours. Wraith-like spectres flood through a great tear in the sky, and the face of a huge clock hangs overhead, hands spinning madly. The bodies of seven giant foxes lie strewn across the approach to the standing stones where Korthsuva has Seventails trapped.

Korthsuva warns the Runewardens not to interfere. Seventails implores the heroes to find the Clockmaker, as re-sealing Korthsuva's time-manipulating magic is the only way to truly defeat her!

The Runewardens can't stand by and watch an ally die in front of them. The heroes attack the Hag of Hours. Every time they successfully attack, Korthsuva rewinds time to negate the damage. A swarm of temporal spectres descend to stop the Runewardens hassling the hag, aging the heroes by a span of years each time they land a blow. Taking advantage of the extended lifespan of the Aasimar, Dante pushes through to reach Korthsuva, placing himself between Seventails and the hag. Korthsuva orders him to move - or die. Dante considers his options... and steps aside. Hell, it's practically his first day on the job and he ain't dying for a paycheck. Korthsuva casts Powerword Kill. A bolt of necrotic energy strikes the Pookah King in the chest! Heroically, Sir Bruno uses the Helm of the Intercessor to redirect the damage to himself! The selfless paladin is laid low by the killing spell! RIP SIR BRUNO.

Korthsuva curses the Runewardens for denying her revenge. Not that it matters - with the right rituals she can reshape history to suit her purposes. Everything the Runewardens have accomplished will be undone when she triggers the Great Reset, restoring the Runewild to its original, primordial state before it was contaminated by man. Korthsuva teleports away, and the huge tear in the sky closes up like a old wound.

Tink suddenly recalls the Soul Jar they got from Malicraft before the Battle for Burly Point, and snares Sir Bruno's spirit so he can be resurrected. Seventails survived, but can no longer wander the Runewild freely as he once did. The Pookah King urges the Runewardens to seek the Clockmaker and re-seal Korthsuva's magic - before she enacts her ritual to revert the Runewild to the dark ages.

TBC - in a future rotation!
The Runewardens will return in a future rotation.

XP Calculator
5x Gargoyles - 2250xp
Medusa & Gorgon - 4,100xp
Claiming Broken Keep as a Bastion - 500xp
Defeating Korthsuva (temporarily) - 5000xp
Saving Seventails - 1000xp
Sir Bruno's heroic sacrifice - 500xp
= 13,350 / 5 = 2670
+ 10,896 = 13,566 + season finale bonus = 14,000

The Runewardns level up (6)!