“Lovely…………. As…………… a…………….. ken……………………. It……………………… would…………………………..beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” Dave shook his head, everything had stopped. His spirit follower Maria was in mid air, jumping off the rug that had also stopped falling down the hole. The Dwhelf and the Bard were motionless over the desk and a piece of paper that had been brushed off by accident was caught still, unmoving in the air. Oz was standing still, nothing out of the ordinary there then. Jebado was not asking questions and his silence was almost deafening, and Flint was frozen in mid toe curl.
Then the world started to vibrate and got quicker and quicker until mitosis occurred and two worlds appeared in front of Dave. For anyone this would be disconcerting, but Dave being a crow was built from sterner stuff. Dave assessed his situation and tilted his head to the left. Then the world on the right started to move, Dave hopped towards it but this was not the same as the world to the left it felt funny and that is the best way Dave could describe it, it just felt funny. But it was the only one moving so Dave followed it.
The room thoroughly searched, boots back on and everyone ready except for Oz who was experiencing terrible stomach pains and in desperate need of another poo.
“I’ll catch you up” he said in his monotonic voice.
Elias slipped silently down the hole and motioned the others to wait, quickly he melted into his surroundings and even Dave had difficulty seeing him. Slowly and efficiently Elias moved down the corridor and entered a large hewn out chamber inside were two people dressed in furs, and a large half Dragon.
“Man, I’m tellin’ you they are coming and I’m feeling reckless.”
“Me too” said the other one dressed in furs, obviously stereo typically barbarians.
“Shush now you two, we will lose the element of surprise” said the half dragon.
“I don’t care I’m feeling”
“Reckless” said the half dragon “You’ve said about a million times, and you will care if I tear you a new hole, now shush”
Elias slipped into the chamber, and skirted round the side of the cavern, he positioned himself behind the three inhabitants and whispered. If you could see Elias then you would you see his lips barely moving, and not a sound emanating from his lips.
“Right then Chaps and Chapesses,, Elias sez we got a nasty lookin’ half dragon and two barbarians waiting for us down there. Let’s be smart about this, bows ready, spells ready. Ready?”
“Brother we will be with you shortly, I’ll let you know when we are ready” and Elias nodded at something only he heard. The half dragon sniffed the air, Elias’s heart stopped.
“The dirty gits one of them is having a dump”. Elias’s lips moved and Flint chuckled quietly, they assembled at the bottom of the ladder.
Flint said “We go on three, right. One……… two…..three.” Flint led the charge firing his crossbow at the half dragon, at the same time Elias fired from his concealed position, this was shortly followed by a flame strike from Jebado and and Issy made the half dragon’s sword set on fire. Maria fired her arrow dropping her bow as she transformed into a bear. Flint kept his momentum going and met the half dragon head on, striking with his sword once and then twice, Elias moved up and attacked from behind killing the half dragon. Maria, Issy and Jebado’s attention turned toward the barbarians, concentrating their efforts on one. The battle was short and swift. It was a well orchestrated hit done with precise timing and efficiency.
They stopped to check the bodies and time froze again and then ran backwards.
Dave was back looking at two worlds this time the one that felt right started to move.
The room thoroughly searched, boots back on and everyone ready except for Oz who was experiencing terrible stomach pains and in desperate need of another poo.
“I’ll catch you up” he said in his monotonic voice. No change there then thought Dave.
Elias slipped down the ladder shortly, CAW CAW Dave laughed as he only just got his own joke “Shortly” Flint the Dwarf, because he is short came down behind him. CLANG! BANG! PANG!
“WAIT A MOMENT YOU SCUNNER!” Flint shouted as Maria tried following him down but was putting her foot on his head.
“Go on then brother. We’re right behind ye” Flint followed directly behind Elias and was immediately followed by everyone else. They were surprised as the Half Dragon lay down its breath weapon catching all in its wake, and then they split up. Issy ran to the back of the room casting heat metal on the half dragon’s sword. The half Dragon stepped up and smacked Flint with a hot sword, one of the barbarians went for Issy and the other joined in and attacked Flint.
“Have a bit of this, I told you I was feeling RECKLESS!!” said the barbarian attacking Flint.
Elias moved to help Issy, Maria turned into a bear and attacked the Half Dragon leaving Jebado vulnerable. Dave put his wings over his eyes and shook his head. After seeing the perfect version, this was almost comedy.
Between the Half Dragon and the Barbarian they quickly put Flint down. The other fight between Issy, Elias and the other reckless barbarian was going slightly better but only slightly. Issy concentrated and got her unseen servant to pour a potion of healing down his throat, which Flint almost choked on which could have killed him outright, an option not to be repeated again. Flint recovered from the brink of death but remained lying prone on the floor and shouts out.
“We'll be singing
When we're winning
We'll be singing
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down”
“I think I am”, and the barbarian struck the prone Flint. Flint out for the count again and his life force oozing out onto the floor.
Issy finally managed to scare the barbarian attacking her and made it run away, allowing Elias and Maria to attack and kill him. The Half Dragon beat down mercilessly on Maria in her bear form, making her return to human shape, she quickly turned back to a bear and continued to take a pummelling, Elias attacked the half Dragon and the barbarian turned his attention on Jebado. Jebado was left lying in his own life force and Issy cast her magic at the barbarian. Finally Maria put the half Dragon down and the three of them concentrated on the last remaining barbarian.
When the fight was finally over they tended to their wounds, just as Oz came down the ladders humming a jaunty ditty that Issy had been playing earlier. “What’s happened here” asked Oz. Exasperated they looked round one another. “Never mind. Let me help you all, I will cast some ritual healing, all hold hands and a one a two and a three…..
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya”
Ten minutes later, “Better” asked Oz,
“I cannae believe we have to sing that every time” Said Flint
“You don’t but it does help to pass the time” said Oz.
“There is a word for people like you” said Elias
“And what would that be” asked Oz
!!!!THIS WORD HAS BEEN REMOVED FOR PROFANITY’S SAKE!!!
Replied Elias.
They tended wounds took rations and rested for about an hour. Then they turned their attention to the room, Issy wanted to check to make sure nothing was coming down from the room with the ladder and Maria went with her. Meanwhile Elias picked the lock on the chest in the room from a safe distance. Dave perked up, hope sprung eternal, they were getting their act together. Then Maria returned her face bloody from a cut. They patched up this latest assault wound and moved on.
Time Froze. The world shook and vibrated, not again thought Dave. POP! As another world sprang into being the one on the right felt funny, but started to move. Dave noticed the same as previously that both started at the same point so what had just happened must be Dave’s reality, because in the other reality they hadn’t need bandages, crutches, splints, plasters or stitches because they had hardly took a hit between them.
They waited in the room as Elias slipped down the corridor, a minute or so later Flint says
“Elias says this cud be a lotta a trouble. The room is caged off with steps going down and are also caged; the key is on the inside so this is to keep something in, not us out. But the worst news is there are eggs in the room so we got little choice. Oh and there are four pesky kobolds he can’t see ‘em only hear ‘em. Hang on. He’s shot one of the Kobolds, now they are throwing jars of sticky stuff and oil on fire at him, he got another one. C’mon. They drew bows and moved in firing as soon as they saw the kobolds it wasn’t even a fight.
Elias climbed down on a rope and retrieved some jars, which Maria and Flint threw into the caged room. Lighting the eggs up Maria saw them as Gold dragon eggs and three Drake creatures like the one in the village were patrolling the area. Oz cast his spirit sword and attacked them whilst the rest fired ranged attacks. It was not pretty or quick but no one was injured and they retrieved three gold dragon eggs without incident.
The world stopped and time went backwards.
Dave was back looking at two worlds this time the one that felt right started to move.
Then Maria returned her face bloody from a cut. They patched up this latest assault wound and moved on.
Flint slightly angry at being put out of the previous fight early marches down the corridor, “What’s this cage for” he asks to no one. For his trouble a jar of a sticky substance lands on him holding him immobile and is then set on fire by a burning jar, Oz shares the same fate.
“Leave it, this is a dead end” says Elias, Maria steps up and shoots at a kobold, Flint does the same killing one.
“Och Aye, brother but I hate these little bleeders” Flint replies, the kobolds are killed without too much worry. Although different Dave sees a bit of teamwork and effort and is heartened by it, Dave’s hopes and dreams are dashed by the very next series of actions.
- 1) Oz spots the dragon eggs. Good.
2) Elias moves down the cage and finds the key. Also good.
3) They quickly work out it is to keep things in, not people out. Doing well.
4) Maria changes shape to a snake, wriggles between the bars, drops fifteen feet to the floor and slithers over to the eggs. Bad
5) Maria is attacked by one Drake. Very Bad
6) Elias opens the door for Maria to make her escape, Fires at the Drake and gets back up the stairs. Indifferent.
7) Another Drake joins in the assault on Maria. Very very Bad.
8.) The third drake, walks through the now open gate up the stairs and attacks Flint. Not going so well.
Issy, Jebado and Oz rain magic down on the two Drakes, whilst Flint and Elias attack the other. Combined Elias and Flint quickly bring down their Drake and move into the room to help Maria, who changed shape to a human, turned back to a bear and back to a human as she was left there to die. One drake drops leaving one more which is quickly put to death and Flint revives Maria with a potion.
Oz smashes the egg closest to him, and Elias follows suit, Maria shouts out to stop as they are Gold Dragons, but two have perished because they were not strong enough to survive outside of the egg environment, leaving only one which Jebado carefully picks up wraps in a blanket and carries.
This really could not have gone much worse.
Time freezes.
“So what do you think Dave?” says a voice from nowhere.
“Er, think about what?” asks Dave looking round for the source.
“Your people”
“I wouldn’t say they are my people”
“You are the one’s spirit guide aren’t you”
“Er, no not really, I don’t know what a spirit guide is.”
“You Dave, you are a spirit guide, all your lives are now entwined, inextricably linked.”
“Why me?”
“Why not you?”
“You can’t answer a question with a question”
“Did I?”
“You just did it again!!”
“You are sentient Dave, you have knowledge others do not, you have seen these events that others could not see, and you will do things others cannot do.”
“With the riddles again”
“Dave”
“Yes”
“You are a spirit guide”
“Bugger”
“You have witnessed the best they can be, and lived through what they are now, you must guide them to be the best, you are a spirit guide.”
“Haven’t you got something easier to start with?” asked Dave hopefully.
“No. These are yours”
“Arse. Who are you”
“You know who I am”
“Er, if I did I wouldn’t have asked”
“Who do you think I am?”
“God?” offered Dave.
“Which one would I be then?”
“The GM?”
“Great Scot! No Dave I am not a god. I am the narrator”
The world unfroze.
