V THE LONG VERSION
Guest starring
Sant as Serjant Renault (in Doug’s absence)
Steve as Guillame Talbert
Saturday 6th June 1789 continued…..
Just to be clear
Malon reiterated to us—and made this perfectly clear—we are to detain Fenalik and all present at his debauched gathering. “Fenalik must be arrested to stand trial.” We are to gather physical evidence from the mansion, all of which is to be returned personally to Captain Malon. “Nobody is to escape! There is to be no looting!!!!”
What’s the Plan Sarge?
It fell to Serjant Renault to plan the attack and place a requisition with the garrison intendant for all the equipment we would need. Everybody called out items from the practical to the ridiculous and a list was furiously scribbled down: whistles, signal rockets, ladders, rope, grappling hooks, sandbags (for the spikes on the estate walls), padded gloves, gunpowder kegs, horses, carts, prison carts (for hauling away captured aristos), shovels, knives, iron manacles, spyglass, lanterns, and not forgetting…a 2 pounder horse-drawn cannon.
Friday 12th June 1789
Foolproof plan
On the day before we are to due to depart on our mission to Poissy we report once more to Captain Malon and lay out our plans for his approval. The plan of attack, despite everyone’s concerted efforts to complicate it, was in fact simplicity itself. We muster in the woods close to Fenalik’s estate just before dark, keeping the fifty men Malon has promised us out of sight of the mansion. We shall sneak into the grounds near to midnight, just before the guests begin to arrive. We reconnoitre first, let the festivities get under way and, at the perfect moment, send up the signal for the men to storm the estate. What could possibly go wrong?
Rigaut’s pouch
As we finish laying bare our military planning genius, Malon summons the royal physician, Doctor Rigaut, enters the room looking physically exhausted. Rigaut is a busy man operating under a lot of pressure and carries the guilt of failing to save the life of the Dauphin. He carries a small cloth pouch. He addresses us: “The deprivations of le Comte Fenalik and his disturbing influence over the queen must be stopped. Fenalik is a dangerous man. He has killed many strong and skilled men in duels. He knows how to worm his way into the affections of the rich and powerful. He is not to be underestimated.” The doctor pauses, perhaps for effect, before continuing his speech; “Racking my brains to think of any weakness that may expose him, I recall an occasion at a banquet when Fenalik once became suddenly very ill as he ate. A reaction to something in his meal? Fenalik must have been mortified for his usual air of superiority to have been compromised before the dinner guests—to the point that he has refused all invitations to join dinner parties since. Recounting the ingredients of his meal that evening I have produced this”—here Rigaut hands over the pouch to Serjant Renault— “I hope it will help.”
What’s in the Pouch?
Renault looks in the pouch. It’s full of powder. Pressi and Joseph dip their wetted fingers to taste. Pressi is unable to tell what it is but Joseph, like a culinary expert, breaks down the ingredients by taste: fennel, onion, shallot and garlic. “This powder is a vampire’s weakness” suggested Pressi, who wasted no time wetting his hands and dipping them whole into the pouch and rubs the powder around his neck.
Afternoon leave
We are in no doubt that tomorrow we shall face supernatural danger; a feeling of impending doom descends upon the company and each spends his afternoon as if it may be his last. Pressi writes to his true-love, Melody; Dupois visits his parents’ grave, caressing their humble gravestone before moving on to check in on Blanco. Dupois next resolves to smarten himself up and get sober. Babin visits his protégé, César, the orphan boy he raised. Babin is proud to see César, now a university scholar, will never have to become a military grunt. The strikingly good-looking young Joseph said something about visiting his husband—surely he meant wife? Beaumains visits his family home and presses his last few livre into the palm of his dying father’s hand. Renault spends what might be his last hours with his wife and children—he puts on a smile and dares not tell them of the peril of his forthcoming mission.
Saturday 13th June 1789
Work promotion
We rise at dawn and gather together at the barracks. Renault takes an unprecedented action—perhaps the only thing he feels he can do in recognition of our years of service with him—he promotes us all to the rank of corporal. We’re not sure Malon would approve, but then the captain isn’t here. Dupois collects his stripes and grumbles to Babin, “Twenty five years of service and finally I am promoted—on the day I am to die. I don’t know which is worse.”
Back to Poissy
We set out from Paris after midday at the head of our column. Reaching the outskirts of Poissy in the late afternoon we skirt around the village to remain undetected by the locals for fear that Fenalik may have spies amongst them. We slowly and carefully thread our way through the forest until we are in near proximity to the Fenalik Estate. The men are ordered to remain quiet and out of sight. The day has been warm and the sky clear and once darkness falls in the late summer evening, the company--Pressi, Beamains, Hugel, Dupois, Babin and Talbert--is led to the estate by Serjant Renault. We use a ladder to scale the wall—Dupois whispers under his breath, something about thanking god he doesn’t have to climb it with rope again.
Over the wall
Joseph is first up the ladder; followed by the admiring gaze of half the company. As he lays a sandbag over spikes to scale the top of the wall, he cannot fail to notice how the roses here—just at the point where Serjant Renault fell last week—have re-grown, tall, strong, and vibrant red in colour, where before the roses in this section were hues of bright yellow, white and violet. Once the rest of the company was inside the grounds Joseph, an expert in multi-tasking and always right, handled the men deftly to disperse them among the rose beds according to plan.
Reconnoitre
Four footmen are posted at the main gates, luckily none patrol the rose gardens and we sneak up to the house. A procession of carriages arrives shortly before midnight. Each is momentarily delayed at the gate by footmen who check for invitations. Once admitted each carriage in turn deposits its aristocratic passengers at the front of the house before the drivers retire to the rear of the house to be parked with their horses and carriages. Watching aristos enter the house, we notice a large spread of sawdust on the floor at the threshold and wonder at its purpose.
The beasts in the vestibule
We spy through the windows to see Fenalik standing in his foyer. In one corner stands the nine-fingered cadaver of Pope Martin V, in another corner is an animal-feed trough—full of claret. Fenalik greets his guests by commanding them to remove their wigs and get down on all fours. He gives to each the bloody head and hide of an animal to be placed upon head and shoulders: “Become the animal!” orders Fenalik. Soon the foyer is filled with the baying, squealing, rutting and snorting of aristocratic men and women reduced to bestial instincts, dressed in the heads and hides of slaughtered mules, asses, pigs, sheep, deer and more.
The Carnival of Animals
Time passes and we continue to observe through the windows. The mansion is reduced to a debased squabble of animals. Rutting males fight over females, and frenzied feeding orgies take place with snouts pressed into troughs of food and wine. Fenalik alone walks upright amongst the beasts—the shepherd of a blasphemous flock. As if the shock of the perverted animal orgy wasn’t enough of an affront to our senses, now we watch in amazement as Fenalik seems to move about the house in supernatural manner. He passes through doorways but does not emerge in the rooms beyond, instead appearing in other parts of the house; and then shadows grow around him and we’re no longer watching a man stalk the rooms and corridors but a snarling wolf and then a prowling tiger.
Sunday 14th June 1789..…the early hours
Has ‘Bob’ been exposed?
Peering into the ballroom, amongst the bestial orgy, we see the diminutive Dietrich Zann, once again dressed as the recently deceased Dauphin with red apple in his mouth. Standing with him is Selene, dressed in the likeness of an angel. They stand as humans and look distinctly nervous. Fearful that Zann is about to play some pivotal part in the night’s debauchery, Serjant Renault decides now is the time to storm the mansion. Convinced not all of us will survive this, everyone looks at each other as if for the last time. Unexpectedly, Dupois confesses his admiration for Joseph. Babin is startled, for he did not realise he had a rival in Dubois and cannot help but voice his protest. At this admission, Pressi becomes suddenly jealous. Renault demands of his men: “What? Do you consider to bugger boys?? Who here expresses feelings for Corporal Hugot?” Dupois, Babin and Pressi raise their hands.
Music appreciation mode
Quickly changing the subject, Renault asks, “who has the signal rocket?” Beaumains, Babin and Talbert convince Renault to delay his order; “Perhaps we should wait until Zann plays his music?” Footmen begin barring the mansion doors and plugging their ears. Observing this we too stuff our ears using torn rags and wadding from a musket cartridge. “His violin playing must be really bad, n’est pas?” whispers Babin. At a command from Fenalik, Zann raises his violin and begins to play. All hell breaks loose in a manner of which we could never have imagined. “Mon Dieu! Send up the signal rocket!!” shouts Renault.
MORE TO FOLLOW…
