TOPIC: Wolfenstrahd: Afrika Corpse Discussion

Hello Players, and thank you for signing up. This will be the discussion thread for Afrika Corpse and any continuation of this 'spin-off' campaign. I hope you are all looking forward to this as much as I am (writing this was a genuine joy).

Game begins 25/06/2026. Characters begin at Seasoned rank (so +3 Novice advances and +1 Seasoned advance).

This game is inspired by The Mummy (1999), and other pulp stories from the same era. Think brash, over-the-top characters and action. The game is set in the year 1940. Your characters are members of an elite/secret taskforce dispatched by the Vatican to troubleshoot supernatural problems around the world. On this occasion, you are heading to Egypt.

Please give some thought to the kind of characters you want to play. Pretty much any race/ancestry is available, here are some suggestions to get the creative juices flowing: fishman (probably not great in the desert, but could be fun), angel, lizardman/dinosaur guy, elementals, goblins, golems, graveborn (sunlight sensitivity coud be a problem), half-giants, infernals, insectoids, minotaurs, mummy, patchwork monster, revenant, were-creature, or vanilla human.
If you have something else in mind, I'm sure we can create a suitable template using the race/ancestry creation rules in the core rulebook.

I am told Morgan is interested in a Jeckyll & Hide inspired character who shifts between human and monstrous forms. In this case, you could create two Novice characters (one or each 'form') and then distribute your advances between the two as you see fit. We would need to discuss the mechanics of switching between them, as I think it would be more interesting if that is limited in some way.

I am told Ted is interested in playing a Sean Connery inspired human spy, which should be easy enough to do. As a vanilla human working alongside monsters, I will give you an extra benny every session to help keep you alive.

Could Rich & Laua please let me know what kind of character they would like to play.
If you need help building your character, I am happy to help.
We may/may not have a fifth player depending on what other games are posted for R4. I have told them I will make space if there are no other games they could feasibly join, but I will not be going any higher than 5 players.

WOLFENSTRAHD: Afrika Corpse / Session 1

Aboard the HMS Valiant, anchored several miles off the coast of Libya, a new company of exceptional gentlemen assemble for their latest mission.

Allan Quartermain: English-born big game hunter freshly returned from his excursion to King Solomon's Mine. He may be getting on in years, yet remains a crack-shot who has hunted most things that can hunt you back (played by Ted).

Vakar: panther-headed rakshasha warrior with the innate gift to turn invisible. He favours a bow and arrow over more modern, noisome armaments (played by Dan).

Lucian Pallor: dapper young cad with a wit as sharp as his rapier. Apparently impervious to all forms of damage, yet rumours abound of a covered portrait in the vaults beneath the Holy City that Lucian is deathly afeared of laying eyes on (played by Rich).

Doctor Gunthar Schulman: doddering old German archeologist who resisted recruitment into the Ahnenerbe. He occasionally transforms into a hulking, homicidal monster calling itself Kane (played by Morgan).

Gordon Bennett: one of the founding Monuments Men tasked to recover and restitute looted cultural treasures from the Nazis. Quite what he's doing alongside this freakshow is unclear, possibly a mix-up at Headquarters (played by Laura).

The team are briefed by Cardinal Snyder. The Egyptian sorcerer Sa'ad Zaghoul is searching for the Ankh of Anubis (god of mummification and the afterlife). In the wrong hands, the Ankh could be used to rewrite the immutable laws of life and death! The team will take a torpedo boat to the coastal city of Tobruk and secure transportation across the desert into Egypt - then stop Zaghoul claiming the Ankh.
Libya is controlled by Italian soldiers loyal to Hitler and Mussolini, so the team should be prepared for a scrap - and possibly spaghetti.

Turns out no-one on the team can boat, so Seaman Redshirt is assigned as their nautical chauffeur. The torpedo boat speeds toward the distant coastline under cover of night. Bennett spots a dozen sea mines bobbing in the waves between them and safe harbour. Doctor Schulman throws a shoe at the nearest bomb, setting off a chain reaction as the surrounding mines are triggered by the first. Seaman Redshirt puts his foot down, recklessly careening between explosions until they safely exit the minefield. Abruptly, the torpedo boat splutters to a halt.

"This doesn't make sense," Seaman Redshirt says, "We had a full tank!"

It turns out Quartermain has been siphoning fuel to make petrol bombs. A patrol boat approaches to investigate the explosions. It's only a matter of time before their searchlight settles on the smaller vessel.

"Put it back in!!"

Grumbling, Quartermain pours fuel back into the tank, splashing some over himself and the others in the process. He is out of sorts, and pauses to smoke a cigarette. Doctor Schulman ambles over for a light of his pipe. The rest of the team look on in dismay. Somehow, neither of them catch fire.

Seaman Redshirt guns the engine, and the searchlight on the patrol boat whips toward them. Machine gun fire rattles over the Mediterranean as the Italians target the fleeing vessel. Vakar is hit and falls overboard, which sucks cos' he can't swim! Bennett throws a rope to Vakar and hauls the soggy moggy out of the drink. The patrol boat is gaining on them. Quartermain lobs a grenade into the enemy vessel, killing the Italian crew and destroying the boat.

Avoiding any further attention, the team are deposited in a secluded section of the Tobruk dockyards. Seaman Redshirt returns to the HMS Valiant, not quite able to believe he is still alive.



Vakar scales a tall building to get the lay of the land. Floodlights beyond the urban sprawl indicate the presence of an airfield. Two Italian soldiers passing below mention some POWs being held in a nearby warehouse.

The team identify the correct warehouse by the number of guards surrounding it. Doctor Schulman hobbles up to the soldiers guarding the entrance. All they see is a doddering old man leaning heavily on his walking stick. He pauses to catch his breath, then says;

"Knock Knock."

"Who's there?"

Schulman transforms into a hulking monster (Kane) and attacks!

Kane rips a soldiers' head off with his bare hands. The other guards scream and open fire. Lucian saunters over and stabs another soldier through the heart.

"Oh. It seems he pasta way." Lucian drawls, stepping over the dead man.

Vakar gets shot again. Bennett patches him up, then goes poking around the adjoining warehouses for high explosives. All he finds is rugs. Looted cultural rugs, maybe? He makes a mental note to follow up on those rugs later.

The warehouse holding the POWs is locked. Kane rips the door off its frame and uses it to clobber an Italian soldier.

"TELL ME HOW THE GROUND TASTES, LITTLE MAN!!"

The remaining soldiers flee. The team free the prisoners, who turn out to be a squad of Australian infantrymen calling themselves The Rats of Tobruk. They are Chips, Finch, Rafferty, Taylor & Wallace, lead by Wild Card Captain Lucas Riggs. The Australians are grateful to be rescued and team up with the Vatican agents.



The team steal a truck and head for the airfield. A German cargo plane is being fueled for take-off. Bennett waves some paperwork he found in the glove box at the guards on the gate and manages to blag their way through. Vakar - being the only overtly monstrous member of the team - is clinging to the underside of the vehicle.

The cargo plane is taxiing towards the runway! Riggs accelerates to catch up. Alarmed soldiers open fire.

"Hold her steady!" Quartermain shouts, leaping from the roof of the truck to the wing of the plane.

He slips, scrabbling for purchase as his legs dangle perilously close to the spinning propellor blades. A hatch in the fuselage opens and a German soldier takes aim at the aged Englishman. An arrow suddenly sprouts from the soldiers' chest and he falls away with a strangled cry. Vakar nocks another arrow to his bow. Quartermain enters the plane and holds the pilots at gunpoint, demanding they lower the cargo bay ramp. The truck (and the rest of the team) drive into the cargo hold, moments before the plane leaves the ground!

Someone executes the pilots for some reason (I forget who, or why). Fortunately, Chips has Piloting d6 and takes over. The plane levels out and banks to the east, soaring over the vast, trackless desert towards Egypt.

TBC

WOLFENSTRAHD: Afrika Corpse / Session 2

The hijacked cargo plane soars over the Sahara Desert, carrying the company of exceptional gentleman toward the Egyptian border. Chips estimates the flight will take 4 hours. The cargo bay is laden with crates; the smaller boxes are packed with a fortune in stolen Nazi gold, the larger boxes contain two dormant Ubermech packaged in bubble-wrap. Bennett tinkers with the Ubermech and inadvertently wakes them up!

Doctor Schulman opens the cargo bay door and issues orders to the nearest Ubermech in authentic German.

"Achtung! Die wendung! Marsch!"

The dumb robot salutes and launches itself out of the plane.

The second Ubermech takes a wild swing at Vakar, knocking over crates and spilling golden bricks across the floor. Bennett spots a seam in the construct's helmet and pops it open with his trusty crowbar, revealing the disembodied Nazi brain operating the robot. He smashes the brain into vile grey jelly, disabling the second Ubermech.



Chips calls the team into the cockpit. An unnaturally fierce sandstorm has appeared ahead of the plane. Quartermain squints; was that the snarling visage of Sa'ad Zaghoul he glimpsed in the heart of the tempest? Evidently the sorcerer is aware of the team's mission, and has taken steps to ensure their destruction. Chips changes course, but the storm moves to intercept and engulf the plane. Sudden turbulence buffets the aircraft, Finch loses his footing and falls out through the open cargo bay door!

RIP Finch

Within moments the engines are choked with sand. One by one, they splutter and die. The plane is going down! The players have one round to affect their escape, or somehow reduce the severity of the imminent crash.

Doctor Schulman finds four parachutes, and takes one for himself. The Rats of Tobruk (Riggs, Taylor & Wallace) grab the other three and jump out of the plane. Chips is determined to go down with the ship, then remembers he's flying a plane. He's not sure how the rules differ, so he stays put, struggling with the flight controls to delay the moment of impact until everyone else has abandoned the doomed aircraft. Quartermain grabs the bubble-wrap from the empty crates and wraps himself in so many layers he resembles a Zorb ball. Vakar dives into the now empty box, for whatever meagre protection that will provide. Bennett climbs into the truck they used to board the plane, intending to drive off again when they are closer to the ground. Rafferty climbs in beside him and buckles his seatbelt. Lucian is beset by one of his frequent bouts of catatonic ennui, unwilling to expend the energy required to save himself.

The cargo plane crashes down in the desert and explodes! At the last moment, Quartermain leaps to safety, insulated by the protective sphere of bubble-wrap around him. Bennet drives the truck down the cargo ramp, flipping end over end as it hits the dunes, trapping him and Rafferty underneath. Vakar is shot from the burning wreckage, singed and yowling. The only casualty is Chips, killed instantaneously when the cockpit crumpled against the unyielding desert sand.

RIP Chips

A pillar of black smoke rises from the wreckage of the German aircraft. Twisted debris and gold bars lie scattered across the desert. A beautiful winged man lands nearby and helps Bennett and Rafferty out from beneath the truck. This is the angel Dynastik, played by Adam (Rex's player from the main campaign) as his own game was cancelled. He was sent by Cardinal Snyder to scout ahead and offer support if necessary.

Realising the smoke will attract any enemy forces in the area, the team move away from the crash site before making camp. They use the parachutes as makeshift tents to shelter from the merciless African sun.

Sometime later, Lucian emerges from the inferno, seemingly unscathed. In the vaults below the Vatican, his portrait begins to smolder, setting off the sprinklers.

When the team emerge from their tents, they find their camp surrounded by Bedu tribesmen. Vakar knows the Bedu value hospitality above all else, and must treat anyone - even a blood enemy - as an honoured guest for a period of 72 hours. The Bedu escort the team to their camp. Vakar and Doctor Schulman receieve healing from the Bedu shaman for injuries sustained in the plane crash, whilst the rest of the team meet with the tribal elders. The elders sense a powerful evil stirring in the east, but they have their own problems closer to home. Nazis have overrun a nearby ruin, and the Bedu want them gone.



"Are they ruining the ruins?" Bennett asks, pausing for laughter. No-one reacts. Archeological humour is perhaps too high brow for this audience.

The team agree to clear the ruins in exchange for mounts and provisions to cross the desert. The remaining Australians are suffering from heatstroke and sit this one out. The team approach the German excavation under cover of darkness. Bennett observes the ruins were once a Greek temple. The Nazis have a small camp near the dig site. Vakar sneaks in and sets several tents on fire, killing the men sleeping inside. Dynastik dive-bombs the sentries guarding the temple. An Ubermech modified for excavation work (drill arm replacing gatling gun) lumbers from the temple to attack the angel, but Dynastik makes short work of the cumbersome construct. Quartermain, Bennett and Doctor Schulman advance cautiously, using chunky stone columns for cover from enemy fire.

The last few soldiers surrender, revealing their expedition is lead by Ahnenerbe scholar Walther Rauff. Doctor Schulman knows the man, who is something of a professional rival. Rauff and his team entered the tomb beneath the ruins twelve hours ago, and have not returned. The Vatican agents head down to investigate.

Mosaics within the temple show a Greek warrior battling a creature with snake-like tendrils for hair. The same warrior is depicted saving a chained princess from a terrible sea monster. Bennett excitedly speculates that the Nazis have discovered the lost tomb of Perseus!

A narrow stone beam spans a pit full of hissing serpents. Everyone crosses safely.

The next chamber contains statues of three hideous crones gathered around a cauldron, all grasping for a single flawless gemstone hanging in the air between them. Bennett recalls the story of Perseus and the Grey Sisters; the legend states Perseus stole the one eye the coven shared and forced them to provide direction to Medusa's lair. Doctor Schulman grabs the gemstone and peers through it, revealing a passage invisible to the naked eye. He goes to pocket the stone, but Bennett convinces him to return it to the hags, as Perseus did in the story. Doctor Schulman does so (grudgingly), and the team move forward unimpeded.

The passage ahead is illuminated by a ghastly green glow, revealing the petrified statue of Walther Rauff. The ground is littered with fragments of broken and pulverised stone. At the end of the passage, the severed head of Medusa rests atop a plinth, baleful green light shining from her wide, dead eyes. Dynastik raises his shield to block the gorgon's gaze and advances warily. He spots several trapped flagstones and steps over them. When he reaches Medusa's head, Dynastik covers her face to negate her accursed glare. Doctor Schulman chucks the head into his bag.



"You can't steal that!" Bennett protests, "It belongs in a museum!"

"I'm not stealing it," the doctor argues, "I'm re-purposing it."

The final room in the complex is a musty burial chamber containing the undisturbed sarcophagus of the hero Perseus. While Bennett and Doctor Schulman bicker over the morality of grave robbing, Dynastik opens the box. Inside lies a crumbling skeleton garbed in gleaming bronze armour.

"Ah, Perseus, my old friend," the angel sighs sadly, looking down at the bones of the legendary hero, "Oh well. Who wants his stuff?"

Bennett takes the Golden Sword (+1 Fighting, AP1), to keep it safe until he can return it to the Greek government. Vakar claims the Winged Sandals (increased Pace and running die). Quartermain takes the Kibisis Satchel (essentially a Bag of Holding). Doctor Schulman chucks the petrified remains of Walther Rauff into the bottomless bag.

The team exit the tomb and return to the Bedu camp to report the success of their mission. The tribesmen celebrate by drinking vast quantities of Arkhi (strong spirit distilled from camel milk) and dancing through the night. All players gain Conviction! The Bedu provide camels and provisions for the team to complete their journey eastward into Egypt. Though it seems their enemy is aware of their mission - and prepared to take drastic measures to eliminate them - the company of exceptional gentlemen remain resolutely undeterred!

TBC

WOLFENSTRAHD: Afrika Corpse / Session 3

The company of exceptional gentlemen trek across the Sahara Desert, stopping to camp and restock their supplies at the oases marked on the Bedu map. They only travel by night, resting during the day for some respite from the blistering heat.

Bennett fumes over the Nazis brazenly plundering other cultures of their treasures, conveniently overlooking the Greek artifacts his own teammates removed from the tomb of Perseus. Quartermain shares his ambition to hunt a unicorn, having heard rumours the last of that fabled species roam the African savannah; massive herbivorous mammals distinguished by their thick grey hide and prominent facial horns.

"You literally just described a rhinoceros." Doctor Schulman sighs.



Soon after setting off, the team are ambushed by ancient, sun-bleached skeletons rising from the sand. A giant undead scorpion leads the charge. Quartermain is grappled in the monster's vice-like pincers. The stinger lances toward the old hunter, but Quartermain vigorously resists being poisoned. Bullets bounce off the scorpions' chitinous armour. Vakar notices the soft underbelly is unprotected. Doctor Schulman transforms into the hulking Kane and suplexes the overgrown arachnid, flipping the monster onto its back. Quartermain lights a bundle of TNT (from the German dig site) and gives the scorpion an explosive suppository. Fire in the hole!! The scorpion explodes, plastering the team in putrid insect guts.

The team move on. They find a disabled German tank partially buried in the sand, a relic of Rommel's North Africa campaign. The wreck has been stripped bare, but Bennett finds a damaged radio he thinks is salvageable.

The team finally reach the border! They are intercepted by a patrol of British soldiers, lead by Captain Philip Ballard (played by a young Timothy Dalton). The Brits escort the team to Cairo. They get to do some sightseeing on the way, passing the Great Pyramid of Giza and the Sphinx before reaching the city. A raucous mob blocks the main thoroughfare to the palace, loudly protesting the British occupation of Egypt. After suggesting the exceptional gentlemen present themselves at the court of King Farouk, Ballard and his troops march away to restore order.



The team wander the winding streets of Cairo. Doctor Schulman notices his pockets seem lighter, and spots a filthy street urchin making off with his last bar of Nazi bullion. Rather than give chase, he wishes the young thief well. That gold was probably cursed anyway....

The team enter a bustling market, and immediately split the party to go shopping. Lucian peruses a selection of exotic spices. Vakar shops for "cat armour". Bennett & Quartermain make separate enquiries, re: illicit/illegal goods, and are both directed to Dodgy Ahmed and the black bazaar. Doctor Schulman notices a dozen hooded figures moving through the crowd with dark purpose, converging on his distracted teammates.

"Achtung!!" he cries, involuntarily reverting to his native tongue in the heat of the moment.

An assassin lunges at Lucian, brandishing a pair of poisoned daggers. Lucian throws a handful of paprika into his assailant's eyes, blinding him. Doctor Schulman is grappled by a brawny killer. He transforms into Kane and - somehow - forces the big man's body into a much smaller brass lamp.

"I MADE A GENIE!" the abomination roars, rubbing the lamp vigorously, "MAKE A WISH!"

"I wish I could unsee that." Lucian shudders.



Bennett topples several bolts of colourful cloth, entangling a couple of would-be assassins. Two scimitar-wielding swordsmen gang up on Quartermain. He shoots one dead, but the second slashes him across the chest. Vakar casts Invisibility, but the killers ace their Notice roll to keep track of him.

A red robed magi casts Slumber on Kane. The monster resists and smashes the spellcaster through a stall selling little bobble-headed figurines. Incapacitated, the magi transforms into a swarm of scorpions that skitter away in all directions!

"FOOT GO THUNK! BUGS GO POP!" Kane bellows happily, squishing several scorpions with his hoary clodhoppers.

'Thunk Pops?' thinks the enterprising store owner, 'Now that's a catchy name!'

The team leave the market and continue moving toward the palace. They are granted an audience with King Farouk (played by Omar Djalili), a fat, indolent playboy ruler who seems content to let the British run his country for him. Artificial orange Cheeto dust coats his fingers and several of his many chins. The King immediately declares a feast will be held to celebrate the team's imminent triumpth over the sorcerer Sa'ad Zaghoul!

During the banquet, the team are introduced to Sir Reginald Wingate (the British Governor, played by the late Richard Griffiths) and Farouk's younger sister Princess Fawzia (played by Gal Gadot). Fawzia is accompanied by her feline companion Tora, a large Bengal tiger. Vakar and Tora hiss and spit at one another, and have to be seated at opposite ends of the table to stop them fighting and/or f**king.

The starter is served; mashed fava beans. Wingate quizzes Lucian, re: German troops deployment in Libya. Lucian pretends to be deaf. Wingate just gets louder.

During the main course (grilled meats with koshari), King Farouk observes to Bennett & Quartermain that their company is a total sausage-fest. He recommends they visit the Thirsty Camel Club to ogle some beautiful Egyptian ladies.

Dessert is basbousa (sweet cakes). Fawzia tells Bennett it is refreshing to meet an Englishman not overtly pillaging her nation's heritage for personal gain. Bennett shares this sentiment and explains the mission of the Monuments Men. Fawzia listens attentively as he talks.

The servers bring out steaming cups of hibiscus tea. Wingate scoffs at this "herbal shit". He prefers a good strong English brew, wot! Fawzia notes most English tea is imported fom India. They glower at one another across the table. Lucian looks down at his tea and notices a comical skull has appeared on the surface of the hot beverage. He calls the nearest servant over to complain. As the server leans over the table, a poisoned dagger drops out of his sleeve.

Everyone stares at the glistening blade.

"Assassins!" King Farouk shrieks, falling backwards off his chair in a cloud of Cheeto dust, "Protect meeeeee!!"

TBC

WOLFENSTRAHD: Afrika Corpse / Session 4

Assassins have infiltrated the palace and interrupted the feast with an unexpected course of murder that did not appear on the menu! The company of exceptional gentlemen leap to the defence of fat King Farouk and his attractive sister!

Only Quartermain had the foresight to smuggle a weapon down to dinner. Doctor Schulman hurls a handful of cutlery at the advancing killers. One man screams, clutching the delicate silver shrimp fork skewering his eye! They didn't even serve shrimp! A brawny goon grapples Fawzia from behind. Vakar claws his arm, and he releases the Princess. A blur of orange and black fur passes between them, as Tora the Tiger pounces on the man to maul his face and torso. Another brute grabs Lucian and throws him over the balcony. He splashes down in the ornamental fountain below the window, startling several peacocks. Vakar creeps up on the brute and shoves him over the balcony too. Lucian gets on top of the goon and holds his head under the water until the bubbles stop. A knife-wielding killer advances on King Farouk, who is now hiding behind a potted cactus that fails to obscure more than a fraction of his girth. Quartermain shoots the assassin in the lung before he can reach the King. Doctor S transforms into Kane and flips the heavy dining table on top of Zaghoul's mooks. Fawzia grabs a candelabra and attacks one of the beefy boys. He backhands her upside the face and she falls to the ground, unconcious. The leering goon looms over the helpless Princess. Bennett spots an elephant head mounted on the wall, pulls it down and impales the killer on the points of its long ivory tusks!

The assassination attempt has been thwarted! King Farouk thanks the exceptional gentlemen for saving his life, and the life of his attractive sister. Sir Reginald also survived. Farouk pledges his aid and the resources of his office to the team in their ongoing search for the sorcerer Sa'ad Zaghoul.



Lucian visits the Thirsty Camel Club for information. Captain Ballard is here with some off-duty British soldiers, looking thoroughly uncomfortable as a nubile dancer twerks aggressively in his face. Ballard says the Germans have a spy in Cairo, broadcasting encoded messages to the enemy. If the team can identify the spy, the Brits will share their intel on Zaghoul's whereabouts.

Meanwhile; Bennett, Vakar and Doctor S return to the market to peruse Dodgy Ahmed's Cave of Illicit Wonders. They are ushered in by the same grubby urchin who picked Doctor S' pocket upon first arriving in the city, a malnourished and gobby brat called Abu.

DOCTOR S: "Give me back my gold!"

ABU: "I spent it."

DOCTOR S: "All of it?! On what?"

ABU: "A whole cart of stolen Kit Kats!!"

DOCTOR S: "In Egypt? They'll melt!"

ABU: "Oh ****!! Hey, Ahmed...!"

DODGY AHMED: (clutching gold bar) "No refunds!!"

The team trade for info. Dodgy Ahmed directs them to the Seer of the Slums, a blind oracle living amongst the most impoverished denizens of the city. Doctor S notices Ahmed has a lot of cool shit in his shop.

"What would you give me for this?" he asks, lifting Medusa's head out of his bag.

Bennett covers Abu's eyes. There is a flash of green light. Dodgy Ahmed is turned to stone!

RIP Dodgy Ahmed

The team ransack the Cave of Illicit wonders and find a cursed Headband of Stupidity, a sword that negates the -4 penalty to Called Shots to the head, other miscellaneous trinkets, and a whole cart of stolen Kit Kats (now melted).

The team meet up and head into the slums, a winding labyrinth of narrow, garbage-strewn streets. Leprous beggars grope for them as they pass, soiled bandages oozing pus. They reach the ruined mosque, where the Seer of the Slums is said to reside. A tall, hook-nosed man wearing a threadbare robe and blindfold over his eyes is waiting for them. He foresaw the team's arrival, and has prepared a cocktail of hallucinogenic flowers to aid them in their search for answers.

The team inhale the psychedelic fumes and feel their consciousness detatch from their physical bodies. Guided by the oracle, their attention turns south, following the River Nile to the city of Luxor, and the neignbouring Karnak Temple Complex, where Zaghoul is close to uncovering the Ankh of Anubis.

Bennett is particularly susceptible to the effects of the blue lotus and experiences a further vision. He witnesses a titanic - yet shadowy and incorporeal - serpent writhing through the streets of Cairo, crushing King Farouk and the British army in its inky black coils.

When the team return to their senses, the Seer is gone. Vakar finds a few white/blue feathers on the ground, but no further evidence that there was ever anybody else there.

Now the company know where Zaghoul is, they book passage aboard The Jewel of the Nile, a steam-powered paddleboat that ferries passengers up/down the river. Most of the cabins have been booked by a pair of wealthy and recently married socialites on their honeymoon, but the team are able to secure cheap berths for the trip. Doctor S smuggles his camel on board, and hides it in his cabin.

Quartermain lurks in the VIP area and meets the newly-weds Simon and Linnet Doyle on their way to the dining room. He breaks into their cabin and ransacks the room for valuables, stealing a particularly precious necklace from Linnet's luggage. Lucian introduces himself to Jacqueline de Belleforte, Simon's spurned lover - now determined to sabotage the couple's honeymoon. Linnet returns to her room and discovers the theft. A rotund Belgian man with an unlikely moustache pops up, identifying himself as Hercule Poirot - the world's greatest detective! He will solve the case of the missing necklace!



Poirot recruits Lucian as his assistant/protege, and searches the ship for the stolen jewellery. Quartermain steals Poirot's boiled egg. In the engine room, Lucian must simultaneously divert the detective's attention away from;
a: Quartermain shovelling the ship's coal supply into the Kibisis Satchel, and
b: a chocolate-covered cat man licking liquefied Kit Kat off his unmentionables.

There is a gunshot from the dining room! After some milling around in the corridor, Bennett and Doctor S discover Jacqueline got drunk and shot Simon Doyle in the leg. She has been sedated. Bennett looks for the gun, but it is nowhere to be found. Searching the boat, they find Linnet Doyle dead in her cabin, shot in the head as she slept a deep, Laudanum induced slumber.

"There has been a murder!" Poirot cries, "A murder on the Nile!"

RIP Linnet Doyle

Poirot delegates the murder investigation to Lucian & Co, while he focuses on finding his missing egg. Quartermain digs a bullet out of the dining room floor, but the trajectory is all wrong if Jacqueline fired from the bar. Lucian investigates the blood splatter and discovers it is actually a tomato-based thixotropic non-Newtonian pseudoplastic fluid.

QUARTERMAIN: "Come again?"

LUCIAN: "Ketchup, man! It's ketchup!"

The team hypothesize Jacqueline de Belleforte and Simon Doyle conspired together to murder Linnet for the inheritance. Simon is overcome with guilt and throws himself into the river, where he is promptly torn apart by hungry crocodiles.

RIP Simon Doyle

"Ah, ze scales of justice, non?" Poirot says, nudging Lucian in the ribs, "Do you see? Because of the crocodiles?"

Lucian tips Poirot over the side. The crocodiles eat him too.

RIP Hercule Poirot

TBC

WOLFENSTRAHD: Afrika Corpse / Session 5

The exceptional gentleman disembark in Luxor and hurry toward the Karnak Temple Complex. Local diggers are fleeing the site after Zaghoul's cultists triggered the temple's arcane defences. The ruins are a battlefield, with hooded goons clashing with animated statues of long-dead Egyptian kings. Quartermain convinces four diggers to man up and join the team as expendable cannon fodder.

DIGGERS: "What?"

QUARTERMAIN: "What?"

To reach Karnak Temple, the company proceed along the Avenue of Sphinxes. As they reach the entrance, one of the diggers staggers. The shaft of a long black arrow pierces his torso! A half dozen rakashan mercenaries appear atop the gate, lead by a formidable warrior named Khajit. Vakar is startled! He believed the Germans wiped out his entire clan on the night they raided the catfolk settlement.

VAKAR: "My brother! I thought the Nazis killed you!"

KHAJIT: "Why would they? You fool! It was me that lead them to our village!"



Vakar faces off against the villain from his backstory. Unfortunately, Dan was absent this week, so their confrontation occurs off-screen.

The rest of the team enter the Great Hypostyle Hall, a forest of crumbling stone pillars open to the sky (and - according to Rich - the best multiplayer map on Goldeneye 64), where a pack of invisible catmen wait to ambush them.

Bennett brandishes Rasputin's blade. The weapon jerks in his hand, eager for slaughter. The somewhat cursed sword acts like a dousing rod, directing Bennett toward his nearest foe - invisibility be damned! The blade lashes out through a seemingly unoccupied space, slicing through the neck of the unseen assailant lurking there! Blood sprays from the gory stump - revealing a second rakashan stalker creeping up on the group! Quartermain shoots the second catman in the chest.

Lucian advances and is ambushed by three invisible rakashan leaping down from atop the surrounding columns to gang up on him. Lucian's ridiculous Parry is 11, so they achieve sweet FA.

Quartermain is tired of dealing with invisible enemies. He orders the diggers to start a fire and waft the smoke toward the catmen. The team follow the sound of retching and defeat the remaining mercs.

The exceptional gentlemen emerge from the ruins along the bank of the Sacred Lake. A chaotic melee is playing out between Zaghoul's cult and the temple guardians. The surface of the lake churns as a sunken shrine to the god Anubis rises from the depths, disturbing the giant abtu fish that swim in those normally placid waters. The sorcerer Sa'ad Zaghoul and his most trusted lieutenants scurry across the adjoining bridge. The heroes need to stop him before he reaches the Ankh!

Smoke from the fires allows the team to traverse the battlefield unmolested. One of the towering stone guardians attempts to squish Doctor Schulman underfoot. He transforms into Kane and tips the statue into the lake. The adjoining bridge is beginning to sink back below the surface! The heroes rush to cross before access to the shrine is cut off.

The interior of the shrine is overgrown with lush/verdant foliage. The Ankh of Anubis is suspended above the spring of holy water feeding the sacred lake. The life-giving aura of the relic immediately heals one wound for everyone in the vicinity. The Ankh is surrounded by a wall of sparkly golden light. Zaghoul orders one of his minions forward. The unfortunate mook is disintegrated upon contact with the barrier.



ZAGHOUL: "Meddling foreigners! You will not stop me claiming the Ankh! With it, I will raise an army of the dead to conquer Egypt. Soon, all of Africa will grovel before me, an eternal ruler untouched by death nor the passage of time!"

The sorcerer is attended by a dozen red robed spellcasters and several hulking half-man/half-scorpion hybrids. Quartermain starts blasting, but Zaghoul seems unconcerned by the bullets striking his person. His entire body has the properties of sand and the wounds close up again immediately, like a hole dug by children at the beach.

Note to the Players: This was by no means and unwinnable fight. Zaghoul was immune to all damage unless you first hit him with water or electricity to negate his innate defences. Water would have made him stodgy (like pudding), and attacks until the end of his next turn would have inflicted damage as normal. Electricity would have made him brittle (like glass), and bludgeoning attacks would have caused double damage. Have none of you read/watched One Piece?!

Zaghoul blasts the team with a cone of abrasive sand to scour the meat from their bones. Bennett and Quartermain retreat onto the steps leading up to the shrine. Lucian moves forward and cuts down a scorpion hybrid. The body topples into the stream of holy water, polluting the sacred font with spilled blood. The surrounding foliage becomes hostile, lashing out with long, thorny vines. Kane attacks Zaghoul, punching huge fistfuls of fine sand from the sorcerer's torso, only to watch his opponent immediately reform. More dead cultists soon litter the shrine. The barrier around the Ankh begins to fail, as the protections placed upon it are degraded by the desecration of this holy place. The floor shakes underfoot as the shrine begins to sink back into the lake. Blood red water floods the lower level. The bodies of the giant abtu fish float lifelessly on the surface of the befouled lake.

Zaghoul rushes to grab the corrupted Ankh, now hovering above a bubbling fountain of viscous red gore.

ZAGHOUL: "At long last! The Ankh of Anubis is within my grasp!"

His villainous monologue is cut short as Kane delivers a brutal blow that severs his arm at the elbow. In the seconds it takes for the limb to reform, Kane snatches the Ankh and runs for the exit! Zaghoul begins casting a killing spell, but is interrupted by Lucian throwing a handful of curry powder into his face.

ZAGHOUL: "Avada Ked-atishoo!!"

The crumbling shrine sinks deeper into the lake. The team must dive below the bloody water to reach the exit. The ceiling above the profaned font collapses, burying both Lucian and Zaghoul beneath tonnes of rubble! Completely submerged, the sorcerer is unable to reshape his sandy body to escape. The rest of the exceptional gentlemen make it back to shore by using the bodies of the dead abtu fish to paddleboard to safety.

The heroes have thwarted Zaghoul's plot and entombed the sorcerer in place of the relic he sought, but at what cost? The Ankh of Anubis has been corrupted by the blood shed to retrieve it, its life-giving aura now perverted into something vile and unrecognisable.

TBC