The First song of Noink
Upon a cottage of gingerbread,
the seductive hag lured me to her bed.
Poisoned by a nefarious concoction of candy and stew,
my strength sapped and my tiredness grew.
I woke from my slumber my eyes shot open,
Fudging’s face filled my vision, a better outcome than I’d been hop in’.
His eyes wide with wonder I was quite the sight,
to rally this group for the upcoming fight.
Baked bits of rubble flew as the druid crashed landed on my right,
our barbarian friend charged into the light.
He ran down the room with his great axe lofted high,
“Come Hag Slicer, it’s time for her to die!”
His blow was hard and her guts were not,
her stomach spilled out and the blood started to clot.
Upstairs a monk and a zombie started to rumble,
it was in the shower that they both did tumble.
The zombie creature fell awkwardly back, in the shower curtain it got trapped,
It‘s leg bone had snapped and came right out of its skin, the rest of the cadaver was tightly wrapped.
The monk wasted no effort and grabbed the bone,
He named his new weapon the leg of old Tone.
Smashing eyes and grabbing teeth,
Our Monk friend turned into some kind of strange thief.
Back downstairs the hag was outnumbered,
she broke free, grabbed her eyes and down the corridor she lumbered.
No respite or quarter to her foes had she ever given,
So with a knife in the back, and an axe in the head, along with the crossbow bolt that sailed over head, a death most ignoble and no one to absolve or listen to her final shriven.
A cheer went up but the victory was short, at the backdoor there was work to be done,
a lone zombie who’d just eaten his mom.
The barbarian from the building he flew,
no rope did he find so he made do with used guts and sinew.
He missed his mark and his target,
he crashed into the shed, which was full of eggs for the farmers market.
Regaining composure, and as quick as flash,
the barbarian stood and started to smash.
His hand closed on a small hand axe he threw at the zombie,
it was mere moments before he hit with a combi,
Caught on the left, followed through on the right, the zombie was split it really was quite a sight.
Back at the village they stood tall and proud,
waiting for chief Rumblegutt to call them one at a time aloud.
You’ve done well, now only a few left, the first rounds hard we always get a reduction,
now carry on to the final stages of induction.
We will test your brain and brawn, your wits and agility,
and finally a test about you to see who has the best all round ability.
The rounds were hard, the players not fair,
as bending the rules seemed as common as air.
The winner to be declared and their prize already waiting, a sword made of bone from a crocodile from the great river Wye, and it was I Noink Hugglebutt the bard, the legend, as they all say “ooh what a guy!”
The Second Song of Noink (in progress)
Chief Rubblegutt, commanded that we all should attend,
He wanted heroes to go a great distance even past the large bend.
For the river has dried, and peoples food with it too,
There’s not even a reason to go to the loo.
With bellies all hollow, and resources so few,
we need to solve the problem so we can get back to brew.
The Captains boat broken then fixed with a view
that a team of chickens pulls it, a land craft tabaoo.
The heroes set off, amongst clucking uproar,
they really hoped they would not cross a boar.
We need not have worried as, it was the Bullywug tribe,
who held a friend captive and then they lied.
In ambush they waited their trap almost certain,
they did not expect a boat pulled by chickens and a mad captain wrapped in a curtain.
On clucky, and bucky, and chucky, and saxo,
get a move on before I get out the paxo.
The Bullywugs dived out of the way,
and lost the creature they wanted to torture today.
The battle was brief as the Bullywug Shaman,
cast entangle at his own people and nation.
to be continued.......
