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TOPIC: We Are Thieves - Discussion

We Are Thieves - Discussion 3 years 4 months ago #1872

  • mikeawmids
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There was not a discussion thread for the game, so I have made one to post write-up in. :p

We Are Thieves! [Session One/Part One – 05/01/2017]

Kellen awoke to find himself in darkness. This was not the darkness of a moonless night, nor the darkness of a deep cavern below the earth. This was the darkness of a dirty bag, a dirty bag that had likely contained potatoes prior to containing Kellen’s head. Just as he was growing accustomed to the comforting blackness, the bag was whipped away, replaced with a smoky dungeon and a trio of unscrupulous looking men. The first was suspiciously non-descript, short haired and pleasant featured, yet his amicable smile did not reach his eyes. The second appeared to be some manner of alchemist, if the powder burns on his fingers and missing eyebrows were any indication of his arcane peculiarities. The third was not a man at all, but a gnome. Kellen had never seen a gnome before, but was pretty sure they were not supposed to look quite so angry – this one looked like someone had pissed on his daffodils and no mistake.

“If this is about the Lady Clarissa, I can assure you that - "

“Shut up fool,” snapped the non-descript man, “We’re not interested in your scandalous fumblings with the nobility.”

“Then why have you bought me here? Do you mean to ransom me?”

“Not at all, in fact, look upon this as an opportunity. A job interview, of sorts. I am Master Barney of the Guild of Fire. We share a common enemy in the good Captain Britt and when I heard of your predicament, I thought I might extend the hand of friendship.”

“Happily would I accept your proffered paw,” Kellen answered, “But my own appear to be tied to this chair.”

“In this business, one can never be too careful. While I believe you would be an asset to the guild, I require a demonstration of your commitment to the cause.” With a flick of his wrist, the non-descript man produced a wicked-looking dagger and pressed the blade to Kellen’s throat, “I will have your fealty or your life. Make your decision, actor.”

“I choose to live, obviously.”

“A wise decision indeed. Allow me to introduce you to your new brothers, fellow initiates who have yet to show their quality.

“This is Gelert,” Barney said, introducing the supposed alchemist, “The guild took him in as a swaddling infant, but he proved an inept pupil and we sold him to a magus to harvest for organs. However, the old man took a shine to the little bugger and decided to take him on as his apprentice instead. When the magus died, Gelert here returned to the fold. No hard feelings, eh Gelert?”

Gelert’s dour expression suggested all his feelings were as hard and uncompromising as bedrock.

“And this little fellow is Dimble,” Barney continues, indicating the glowering gnome, “Gelert found him cutting purses on our territory without a guild permit and rather than cut off his tiny gnome balls, I recruited him into the organisation. Sometimes I think I am too benevolent for this line of work, perhaps I should have joined the clergy.

“Right, now that we’re all good friends, it’s time to introduce you to your first client."
Last Edit: 3 years 4 months ago by mikeawmids.
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We Are Thieves - Discussion 3 years 4 months ago #1873

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We Are Thieves! [Session One/Part Two – 05/01/2017]

Kellen had always believed tales of the Naked Monk to be an urban legend, like the rumours of Bighand in the deep forests beyond the city walls. That belief disintegrated alongside the chair he was sitting on as the homicidal nudist smashed it into flinders with a single punch. On the bright side, at least the monk was a woman, albeit one so powerfully muscled she likely had more testosterone coursing through her than ten men. Her naked body was covered with so many glowing tattoos that the nubile form beneath was almost too painful to look upon.

“Merchant Rassus of the Guild of Gold has stolen my son! You will steal him back!” the Naked Monk boomed, “True, the child sprouted from his manly seed, but that does not give him the right to snatch the boy from my bosom! Return my son or I will crush your puny skulls like sparrow eggs between my powerful thighs!”

“One of the novices will show you the way to Rassus’ townhouse,” Master Barney added, “Infiltrate the building and recover the child. Feel free to fill your pockets with anything you find along the way, but remember that the guild demands a 10% cut of your take.”

-

The merchant’s townhouse turned out to be more of a fortress, windows barred by ornate gratings from which hidden marksmen could snipe at anyone approaching the mansion with evil intent. Deliveries to the building were directed to an unobtrusive side entrance and the thieves quickly identified this as the most promising means of ingress. Well, ‘quickly’ is perhaps not the right word; ‘eventually’ might be more appropriate. Before fixing upon the side entrance, the thieves wasted a great deal of time exhausting a number of more outlandish options.

“I’ve been talking to this rat,” Dimble said, eyes bulging wildly from their bruised sockets, “He is a wise rat and my good friend. I am having dinner with him and his ratty uncle tomorrow at noon, over by that overturned wagon. He has shared with me the location of a secret entrance into the merchant’s sanctuary, only we must all become rats in order to fit.”

“That’s nice Dimble,” Gelert replied absently, reaching into his pocket for the gnome’s special medicine.

“I just overheard a group of house servants planning to meet for drinks in the Bell Tavern,” Kellen said, “Maybe we can spy on them for information about Rassus and his boy.”

The thieves spent the evening eavesdropping on the merchant’s staff as they grew increasingly tipsy and talkative. However, none of them mentioned anything about a young child joining the master’s household. Dimble approached the group and requested a job, perhaps forgetting that he was gainfully employed by the Guild of Fire. The only vacancy was that of the shitboy (emptying stinky chamber pots). Dimble seized upon this opportunity with great enthusiasm! They were going to pay him to collect human faeces? He’d been doing that for years for the sheer joy of it!

“Good idea Dimble!” Kellen said, “Once you get inside, you can find the Naked Monk’s son and tell us how best to extract him whilst avoiding the merchant’s guards.”

However, as awesome as that plan was, it was doomed to failure. When attempting to enter the townhouse with the rest of the servants, Dimble collided with an invisible barrier and was bounced back into the gutter. Guards immediately appeared to investigate the trespass and Dimble hid in a barrel until they got bored of looking for him. Fortunately, someone had tossed a dead cat into the same barrel a few days earlier, so at least he had some company.

“Right, enough pissing around trying to be clever,” Kellen decided, once Dimble returned (still sinking of putrefied pussycat), “We hit the side entrance and we hit it now.”

Kellen approached the side door, utilizing his considerable acting prowess to pass himself off as a melancholic drunk. He began banging on the portal until it was thrown open by a belligerent servant brandishing a crossbow.

“Piss off, you old lush!” the servant warned, gripping the weapon in shaking hands, “You don’t live here! Now get you gone before I… I… zzzzzzzzz.”

The servant succumbed to the invisible waves of magic being projected from Gelert’s outstretched hands, plunging into a deep, sorcerous slumber. The rest of the thieves scurried into the house and secured the sleeping servant. Kellen borrowed the man’s uniform and slipped it on, changing roles as easily as another man (well, maybe not Dimble) changes undergarments. Having successfully infiltrated the mansion, the thieves began their search for the merchant’s son.
Last Edit: 3 years 4 months ago by mikeawmids.
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We Are Thieves - Discussion 3 years 4 months ago #1874

  • Andrek
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Gelert - Part One

I can’t recall much about my early childhood. All I can remember is my name and that my parents loved me. I am Gelert, and my trade is magic and burglary. I was brought up by the Guild of Fire as many orphans are. The Thieves Guild can use such children in many ways, as pickpockets and beggars and sometimes as bait or distractions. The guildmaster was a cruel and vile man, who ruled the guild with a hand of iron. Luckily I was not pretty enugh to be subjected to his most perverse cruelties.

Nevertheless I frequently received beatings when I had not stolen enough. Oh, how I hate that man even to this day. I would recognise him anywhere.

I was learning how to steal and be stealthy and my future with the Guild seemed to be assured, but one fine day a Visitor came to the guild. An old man wearing tattered robes, once fine and embroidered with arcane symbols, but now burned and stained in places. He also had a strange smell about him, like nothing I had ever smelled before.

This was Elandrin the Alchemist.
Last Edit: 3 years 4 months ago by Andrek.
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We Are Thieves - Discussion 3 years 4 months ago #1883

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Andy +1 inspiration
Mike +1 inspiration
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We Are Thieves - Discussion 3 years 4 months ago #1885

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We Are Thieves! [Session Two – 13/01/2017]

After tangling with the entangling flora merchant Rassus had planted throughout his mansion to deter burglars and generally inconvenience his staff, the thieves found themselves crouched beside the entrance to a large, stately chamber. The grand environs were being put to ill use by their occupants, who were uniformly naked and engaged in some manner of drug-fuelled orgy. Sweet smelling purple smoke clouded the room, giving the proceedings a mystical aura, which Gelert was quick to dispel.

“This pantomime is about as arcane as my uncle’s toenail,” he sneered, “But that smoke seems to have some hallucinogenic properties. We should not linger here or we might be similarly affected by the fumes.”

Dimble clung to the underside of a covered drinks trolley, which Keller wheeled into the room. Hidden in plain sight, the thieves passed unmolested through the throng of smoke-addled guests. Gelert (disguised as a guard) spotted a man strapped to a nearby table, groaning as an immensely fat woman took advantage of his youthful vigor. What caught the wizard’s eye was the tattoo on the young man’s shoulder – it was the very same tattoo that Master Barney had burnt onto his own arm! Was this reluctant reveler another member of the Guild of Fire? Perhaps he had been sent ahead to gather important intel vital to their mission!

Changing course, the thieves approached their fellow rogue and took a moment to absorb his plight. A group of obese women ogled them wantonly from below heavily-lidded eyes, faces smeared with make-up like fat, lustful clowns.

“Kill me!” the man cried, before being enveloped in rolls of perfumed flab.

“This one looks done-in,” Kellen apologised to the giggling harlots as Gelert began hacking through the man’s bonds, “We’ll just go fetch you a fresh specimen.”

Safely ensconced within an unoccupied antechamber, the man introduced himself as Dorian Aventus (“I am a cursed man”).

“I was drugged by Master Barney,” Dorian ("I am a cursed man") explained, after Gelert inquired how he came to be acting as a meat saddle for the nobility, “When I came to, I was tied to that table. The things they did… I could drown those memories in an ocean of whisky and it would not be enough.”
Last Edit: 3 years 4 months ago by mikeawmids.
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We Are Thieves - Discussion 3 years 4 months ago #1886

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Gelert – Part Two

The guildmaster called all the child-thieves into the courtyard, and Eladrin pointed me out and three others. Then he called each one out by turn. He took them into a side chamber. After a few minutes he called in the next. One, two, three, then it was my turn. He emerged from the chamber, gazed at me with his ice-blue eyes and beckoned me into the room with his wizened crooked finger. He sat me down.“Boy, What is your name?“. “Gelert“, I answered. “Can you Read?“. Yes“ I said. “Can you write“. “Yes“, I said. "What happened to your parents"?,He asked. "They’re dead", I answered.

Then he presented me with a number of simple puzzles, but they were all very easy. He was very satisfied with my answers, and when he smiled his ancient face resembled a field of cracked, dried-out, mud.
Then he spoke ,“I am looking for an apprentice, someone who can obtain the dark materials I need my my alchemical experiments, it won’t be easy, sometimes you may actually need to steal some of them - in return I will provide bed and board, and if you wish I can also teach you the rudiments of magic, so what do you say, Legert, the hound, will you be my apprentice?".

Oh, the chance to learn magic! “Yes!“, I said, slightly too eagerly (but I didn’t understand why he had called me the Hound).

200 gold pieces and a small bottle of blue pills for the guildmaster, and that was it!, i had entered the service of Elandrin the Alchemist.
Last Edit: 3 years 4 months ago by Andrek.
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Vic - Mon 1 Jun - 20:23

Hi all

Seth Drake - Mon 18 May - 08:22

Shows how long its been since i've used this site :), I've posted it in the actual forum post it was meant to be in

Seth Drake - Mon 18 May - 08:21

hi mike, i'd be interested in the game via discord if your still doing it any restrictions on character creation?

rhodsey - Fri 24 Apr - 19:27

Anyone want some free DnD novels? Or at least cheap... https://www.tor.com/2020/04/23/23-dungeons-dragons-ebooks-are-now-pay-what-you-want-thanks-to-humble-bundle/

MellyMel - Wed 22 Apr - 23:43

Good here Vic. Hope you and yours are well

Vic - Tue 21 Apr - 09:43

How is everyone

rhodsey - Fri 20 Mar - 18:37

For those who want to get their RP fix in https://www.polygon.com/2020/3/20/21188141/lord-of-the-rings-online-dungeons-and-dragons-online-dlc-free-coronavirus

moc - Thu 19 Mar - 20:12

SARGE / everyone... club shut for 2 weeks till Thursday April 9th ...

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