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TOPIC: Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie Apocalypse 8 years 6 months ago #771

  • mikeawmids
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Hey guys, I'm having to finish work late for the next few weeks so I will be later than usual - but aim to have arrived before 9.00.
On the week that I am running the game I will try to book leave and finish at my normal time.
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Zombie Apocalypse 8 years 6 months ago #798

  • antidog
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No one brave enough to type up my stint yet? Adventures in Piss Vapour? :sick:
Why does my D20 only go up to 4?
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Zombie Apocalypse 8 years 6 months ago #799

  • Eomak
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Well ive written up so im off the hook, Im casting knowing sideways glances at Adam & Doug...
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Zombie Apocalypse 8 years 6 months ago #800

  • Bane
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Adam's preparing for this week so we can let him off. Doug is on holiday and somebody will have to do two write ups, so i'm getting a second one in.
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Zombie Apocalypse 8 years 6 months ago #803

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Feeling tired after walking from Blackheath to Towsure, driving a Fire engine to Merry Hill, and walking from the traffic lights at the top to BHS, all on top of a nights role playing our intrepid heroes were feeling very tired.
Safe in the knowledge that the zombies are outside and they are locked in safely inside they slept like babies, well some of them slept. Mark slept soundly snoring his head off, an audible cacophony somewhere between rutting warthogs and a jet taking off. The rest of the group grabbed a little sleep, Adam however was out to the world, and as they will find out later hard to wake up.

Bane woke in part of the easy jet cycle of Mark’s sleep, another sound barely audible over the noise caught his attention, he listened intently.

“I’m sorry Tony”
“Are we precious, are we sorry”
“Yes I never meant to kill him”
“Didn’t you precious, you never liked him peddling his eggs. Forcing you to buy fresh and making tasty omelettes”
“Yeah, but they did taste better”
“Nasty Tony, ruining shop bought eggs for you, nasty horrible Tony with his tasty eggs. You did the right thing precious. Putting a pipe through his head”

“Er, you alright up there Mike” Bane called upstairs to Mike.

“Er yes it’s just the wind coming through the hole we made” another noise, very quiet almost in audible over the two warthogs rutting caught Bane’s attention. He moved forward cautiously, the shutters on the shop which everyone thought was down were actually up. Bane froze controlling his breathing as two zombies that were formerly security guards shambled past.

Meanwhile…..

Mark felt cold and woke up, the absence of sound of the jets and hogs woke Doug from his slumber.
“Where’s Bane?” says Doug.
“Dunno, where’s Mike?” replies Mark.

“I think he went upstairs to get away from your snoring” Doug explains.
“I don’t snore!” says Mark indignantly, “I’ll go and find him, you find Bane”

Doug scaned the store and spied his brother hiding behind some coats and sees the two security guards. Expecting a rumble Doug goes over to Adam and shakes him gently, nothing happens. A little more vigorously, still nothing, Doug shakes Adam quite violently and still he does not stir from his slumber. Panicking slightly Doug starts thinking that Adam survived a Zombie apocalypse only to die in his sleep, combine this panic with Doug’s lack of skills in first aid and you have a perfect storm. Doug wishing he had spent more time with first aid, DIYS (do it yourself surgery, as his brother had done with varying degrees of success and only hospitalised himself twice) and how to take a pulse, his mind racing with regret and unsure of what to do, did what in his mind was a logical action.

Adam sat bolt upright, he had been having a lovely dream about selling ice cream. In his dream Adam needed an edge; the market was saturated with ice cream sold in shops, ice cream vans and supermarkets. So Adam had embarked upon (and to be fair it was a dream) of being the first unicycle ice cream seller. Reality kicking back in and a pain in his groin, he looked at Doug, who had quickly put his hand over Adam’s mouth.
“Why?”asked Adam quietly with silent tears running round his face.

“I couldn’t wake you and thought you were dead. So I gave you a genital slap, and if you had been dead it wouldn’t have hurt” replied Doug softly. Adam shrugged not being able to refute this piece of logic. “Now shush, Bane’s over there and look two zombie security guards.” Adam nodded signifying he understood and they quietly grabbed their weapons.

Meanwhile……….

Mark headed up the stationary escalator.

“They are not happy about Tony, precious”
“I know, I’m not happy about it either!”
“What you going to do about it, they will kill you.”
“They won’t, they’re my friends”
“I’M YOUR FRIEND, ONLY MEEEE”
“Yes, yes, what shall I do”
“Preemptive strike, precious”
“Who are you talking too? “Asked Mark, who had been listening in and was now slightly worried Mike was losing his mind.

“No one, there’s no one else here to talk to is there?” replied Mike.
“But I heard another voice” retorted Mark.
“Did you, did you?” said Mike.
“Yes I did, anyone fancy going on a food run” Mark enquired.
“Er, go on then, Asda?” said Mike
“I was thinking more M&S just over there” said Mark pointing. They grabbed their weapons and left the store unaware of the two zombie security guards below. So they were not being quiet, but quieter than Marks snoring.


Meanwhile………..


Bane sat frozen holding in some backed up wind, and regretting his decision to squat behind the coats. The guards seemed to be locked into their old work cycle and are walking their route. Upon hearing a noise coming from the upper balcony they started to shamble up the escalator.

Doug and Adam moved over to Bane.

“That was a close one” said Doug,
“Phharrrrrrrrrrrrrrp” trumped Bane “Better an empty room than a bad lodger” he said “They heard something upstairs and moved towards it”.
“That could be Mark and Mike”
“I’ll warn them” said Bane, pulling his mobile phone out his pocket and calling Mark.

“Hmm my phones ringing, hang on a sec Mike.
It’s Bane.
Hi Bane.
No we’re off to get some food.
Yes for everybody.
Thought we’d go to M&S.
I suppose, what do you want.
New York Cheesecake.
I’ll see.
On the far right of the fridges, next to the freezers.
Two?
Oh one for you and one for Doug.
Can’t you share.
No I suppose I am being stupid.
Popcorn for Adam.
Sorry?
I see.
Bye."


He says they want two New York Cheesecakes and popcorn, and we have two zombies approaching from the escalators behind.
“Couldn’t he have led with that information” asked Mike.

“Probably” they turned round and waited for the zombies to shamble up the stairs. As they were about to get off Mark grabbed the first one and pushed him over the balcony. Landing on the floor in front of Doug Bane and Adam, Adam rushed forward coup de grás the fallen zombie. Mike tried pushing the second one but failed miserably, the zombie lashed out at air and Mark pushed the second one over the balcony into the path of Doug’s shovel. “PANG” and it was all over.

Adam grabbed the keys off one of the guards and ran up the escalator with an enthusiasm the brothers could not fathom to imagine.

Bane pressed the start button on the moving staircase, and nothing happened.

“You need the manager’s key to start it” shouted Mark. Doug and Bane looked forlorn.

“I have these keys” says Adam showing the keys to Mark. Mark who in a previous life a store manager easily identified the key on the ring out of the two hundred that were on the key ring. The escalators sprang into life, as Doug and Bane got on to join the rest of the group.

The first port of call was KCRS to see if they could dig up any information on the interwebs. It turned out to be a localised gas cloud and people were being urged to stay indoors. A few Ipads later…

They entered M&S and four cheesecakes later…….

“There you go and you said we couldn’t get two more in” said Bane

“To be honest I didn’t think it was possible, but it just goes to show where there is a will there is a way” said Mark.

Over in a dark corner Mike stood alone…
“You were useless, you’re not precious you’re ineffectual”
“I’m just not strong”
“It must have been an accident that you killed Tony, ineffectual”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to say”
“Well I’m not hanging round here, to be made a laughing stock of. Bye”
.
“You alright Mike” asked Doug.

“Yeah” said Mike glumly, “Even my psychosis has left me I’m that useless”

“Cheer up little camper you’ve got us” said Bane.

Leaving M&S they walked a short way and spied Boots had been turned over, suggesting somebody else is around.
“I’ll go and investigate” said Mark and Mike and Adam joined him. Doug and Bane had heard more shuffling coming from behind them, so offered to deal with this situation and would catch them up.

“What is that smell?” asked Mike.

“It smells like a warm urinal in a pub” said Adam they both turn and look at him “Well it does” Outside of boots was littered with open packets of E cigarettes and cartridges.

“Strange” said Mike
“Very” said Mark, this way.
And they moved off following the smell of urine and litter.

Meanwhile…………..

“Not sure that so much cheesecake was a good idea” Bane said rubbing his stomach.

“No such thing as too much of a good thing” said Doug patting his. “Zombies will be here in about thirty seconds”

“Okay, I’m coming” pushing back of the railings Bane swung his hatchets and waved his arms around. “Just limbering up”, the zombies cleared the corner as Doug swung and missed, Bane a little over enthusiastically cut the zombies head off, blood spurted out and landed on Doug.

“Cheers” said Doug. The zombie swung at Bane hitting him and shaking him Doug missed and the Zombie missed, Bane tried the same trick again and it worked again. Better catch the others up, “need a drink from that milkshake stand first” said Doug.

Meanwhile………….

Mark stealthily moved up as the smell became almost over bearing. It was emanating from the toilets. Carefully he opened the door and saw a man with beakers boiling a liquid and working with the E cigarette cartridges.

“Hello” said Mark
“What the…. Sshhh, watch out for the Zombie security guards” said the man

“Already taken care of Mr……?”

“Dr Savage I presume” said Mike

“Er yes how did you know”

“You match the description given out on the radio. They say you are the cause of all this.”

“Well they are right, in a way. It was an accident. At Rhodia we were working on a obesity drug, but the problem with tablets is they are slow to act and it would have to small effective doses five to six times a day. The quickest delivery method is through the lungs, and the E cigarette seemed to be the perfect delivery method. So it is a gaseous form. The good news is, it suppressed normal food cravings, on the bad side the test subjects turned into mindless beasts.

“Zombies”

“Yes Zombies I suppose you could call them.”

“So you’re working on a cure”

“A cure no, I am afraid once they have turned they are gone forever, the brain tissue quickly erodes and they are down to their base instincts.”

“Thought you said it was supposed to suppress appetite so why are they trying to eat us”

“Well it suppresses normal food desires but now they crave taboo food like human flesh”.

Bane and Doug turn up and they are brought up to date with the situation.

“Okay so what are you working on” asks Mark

“Well you see, the cloud once inhaled takes about three to four minutes to be effective, if a strong dose of urea is inhaled it stops the effect, so it is preventative measure. I am trying to work on a easy system for people to replicate and maybe we can stop this before it gets too far.”

“Just one more question, if your test subjects were animals, what stops them infecting one another is it transferable by bite for instance?”

“Nothing and yes”

“Oh”

“And the inhaler won’t be effective against a bite, but the time it takes to turn into a Zombie should be a lot longer. I need your pee to make you antidote”

“He may be taking the pee out of us”

“Right then, lets go and check out the security room and see the situation outside and inside” Mark commanded. Antidog volunteered to stay with Doctor Savage.

A short while later…

“It’s got to be this key” says Mark

“You said that thirty keys ago” complains Bane. The key enters the lock and turns unlocking the door.

“Patience is a virtue” Mark says with a winning smile (or grimace it is hard to tell)

“Why is it only people who are holding other people up who say that” replies Bane.

Mark pushes the door open and inside are Zombies. Adam rushes past a fire extinguisher in his haste to be the first to kill one. With that honour now gone, the rest of the group set about imaginative ways to do it. Mike rushes in and throws his shield (It is really a dustbin lid) Captain America style killing his outright, perhaps his psychosis left too early.

Doug puts on a great display of ineptitude and misses. Mark fells his with a classic Gregory Peck punch with real old movie sound effect. Bane Rushes over and picks up a microwave opening the door and disabling the door catch. Adam hits but does not do any damage Bane slams the microwave down on the zombies head and turns it on, the zombie waves it arms about catching the lead and unplugging the microwave. Mark plugs it back in, Adams lashes out at it but once again does not do any damage. Doug finally lands a blow on the one he is fighting and smashes it so thoroughly it almost disintegrates. Bane holds the microwave on the zombies head and it explodes.
“Awesome” exclaims Bane. The cameras reveal nothing interesting, the group not in a rush to get back to the smell of warm pee, loot and do some shopping only going back when they have too.

Dr Savage is beaming at them all, “I have done it here” and thrusts a E cigarette machine and twenty cartridges each into their hands and shows our inept heroes how to make it. “Now all we have to do is broadcast it to the world.”

The group now containing Dr Savage leave via the centre exit and move off, towards Halfords to pick up some bikes. They successfully avoid zombies and break into Halfords. As they are about to leave Dr Savage exclaims.
“Oh MY GOD. The gas cloud, it’s here take your preventative measures”


To be continued by someone else………….
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Zombie Apocalypse 8 years 6 months ago #804

  • mikeawmids
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Great write-up, as usual. :D
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MellyMel - Thu 28 Mar - 16:30

i fancy mothership if there is space (get it?) - no actually i really do

Sarge - Thu 28 Mar - 15:00

Galleons players. Sant is running a Mothership RPG one shot tonight as Coriolis is off, come join the fun!

mikeawmids - Thu 28 Mar - 14:37

Perhaps Charlie Rumble will reach Cook Island after all....

Temrane - Thu 28 Mar - 13:07

galleons folks, no game tonight, work calls unfortunately! back next week

MellyMel - Thu 21 Mar - 15:38

i believe some new user(s) are awaiting authorisation. if so please recreate request as i've just deleted the russian bot swarm and your request might be spotted this time.

Inept - Thu 29 Feb - 17:07

Apologies decent guys... Hell has obviously inflicted itself on my van... It's broke. Won't be there tonight.

rhodsey - Tue 27 Feb - 09:09

I can't accomodate two sorry but I'm happy if they want to come and observe for a bit at least then see if there's a game while they are here.

mikeawmids - Mon 26 Feb - 17:36

Two people have contacted club through Facebook page to join a game. Can any of the R2 DMs accomodate two more new players?

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